Little Wild One
by Jeanny
Summary: Willow's attempts to save Tara's sanity and the arrival of a mysterious stranger change relationships among the Scoobies forever. (This story is AU After Season 5)
1. Natural Defenses

Title: Little Wild One

Author: Jeanny

Spoilers: Season 5 through The Body

Rating: PG-13

Feedback: Yes, please! jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Distribution: Go ahead, I don't mind, just credit me and tell me where it's going.

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. I'm only playing with them.

Summary: Willow's attempts to save Tara's sanity and the arrival of a mysterious stranger change relationships among the Scoobies forever.

Pairings: X/A, W/T to start, but then...be prepared for anything :)

Author's Note: This is an AU Season 6 story. As the story begins (in case something isn't clear): Buffy is dead (?); Tara's cure turned out to not be permanent; Dawn has run away and Giles has left Sunnydale to search for her. Spike is still around but has been keeping to himself; he's had the Buffybot repaired but he's keeping it secret.

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Chapter One - Natural Defenses

Willow closed the book with a thud. She'd been through every one Giles' forbidden texts twice, and still there was nothing. No way to cure Tara. She was determined, but even with her nearly endless well of optimism she knew it wasn't looking good. She had been so sure when she'd taken Tara's energy back from Glory, she'd found the answer. Tara had been whole, her mind completely clear and lucid. She had been focused completely on Willow, trying to help her recover from the devastation that had accompanied her best friend's death. But mere weeks after Buffy's funeral, she'd begun to show signs of the dementia again. At first it was just moments, so brief they could almost pretend they hadn't happened at all. But all too soon the moments became minutes, and the minutes became hours. Now Willow was grateful for Tara's few lucid hours a day. She knew that soon those would be lost to her too. Unfortunately so did Tara. What was a blessing for Willow was now a curse for her lover.

Remembering what had happened a few days ago made Willow shiver though the room was warm. She had caught Tara attempting to end her life. Her girlfriend's eyes had been impossibly sad and without hope. Seeing the horror and fear on Willow's face, Tara had dropped the bottle of pills; pills and tears spilled in seemingly endless cascades. Willow had held her in her arms and promised she would come up with a solution, a way to save her life and her sanity. Then Tara had made her swear on Xander's life that if she couldn't reverse the harm done by Glory, she would leave her love in a mental hospital and never look back. It was the only way she could get her to promise not to attempt suicide again.

"I won't let you to lose your chance to have a happy life," Tara had whispered into Willow's hair.

"You are my chance," Willow had replied, pulling away to give Tara a reassuring kiss. Tara had given her a beautiful smile.

"The mice...they tickle my ears at night. Bad mice." The madness had returned just that suddenly, and Willow had almost broken then. She was close to falling apart now, listening to Tara's tuneless humming. Losing Buffy had been the hardest thing she had ever had to endure. How could she be expected to lose Tara as well? Willow was unwilling to even face that possibility. Instead she opened the spell book again. It flipped to the page she had been drawn to all day almost without any effort on her part. Frowning, she stared at the page again. It was the only thing she had found that was even remotely close to what she needed. The spell would link her mind to Tara's, allowing her to give her lover some of her own sanity. She had dismissed the idea out of hand at first; it was clear from the way the spell had been written that this was not a permanent cure. Plus, there was a real risk that the spell would backfire. Rather than pull Tara's mind together, the spell might pull her own mind apart. A lot to gamble on something that at best would only buy her more time.

Willow sighed. More time was what she needed most at this moment. She knew she simply couldn't bring Tara to a hospital and leave her there, but she wouldn't break her promise to her girlfriend. She knew that the others would disapprove. Tara would be furious...but there was no other choice. Everyone would just have to understand that. Rapidly gathering the ingredients together, she prepared the spell. Gently she pulled Tara into the sacred circle. Her girlfriend looked at her with wide eyes.

"Willow...its all overrun, overgrown...there's no way back..." Tara whimpered as Willow grabbed her hands firmly and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"I'll always find you," Willow whispered tearfully before releasing Tara's hands to light the candles and incense for the spell. She made the supplications in her head, relaxing her breathing to obtain a light trance state. When the offerings had been made and she could feel they had been accepted she put her hands on Tara's face, forcing their gazes to lock. Without hesitation she began to chant the final words of the spell.

"Our minds are bound. Our love the binding. Our minds are bound. The binding will hold. Our minds are bound. The order in my mind. Our minds are bound. Be the order in yours. Our minds are bound. With love we are bound. Our minds are bound. As our love holds. Our minds are bound."

As the spell completed, the candles and incense began to emanate a fine pink wisp of smoke. The smoke circled the two women, spinning in an ever-shrinking circle until it circled around their heads. It briefly touched them and dissipated. Willow and Tara both gasped as if all the air had left the room. They collapsed weightlessly to the ground, their eyes open and unblinking. Willow felt as if her brain was sliding out of her ears and onto the floor. She knew she was dying, could feel everything stopping. She could feel that the same thing was happening to Tara. The phrase 'autonomic function' came to her mind from somewhere, and the second it flashed across her mind she was suddenly able to breathe. She breathed heavily, feeling Tara's desperation and gratitude mirroring her own. As she felt her thoughts become more focused, she was aware of the chaos surrounding Tara's. Deep within that whirling chaos she could feel the spark that was her girlfriend's true self. Instinctively she reached for that faint glimmer and pulled. A moment later Tara blinked at her, disoriented but totally lucid.

"Willow? Did something happen?"

"It's okay, Tara. We're okay, everything's okay." Willow grabbed Tara in a quick hug, blinking back tears. After a moment Tara carefully extricated herself from the embrace.

Because of her gentle demeanor, most of their friends didn't realize what a very sharp mind Tara had. Willow knew and was unsurprised that Tara had realized that the redhead had not answered the question. She also knew Tara would quickly figure out the truth, and gulped guiltily.

"But something happened. You did a spell," Tara's tone was slightly accusing as she looked around at the candles and incense. Her eyes narrowed. "Dark magick."

"I did what had to be done," Willow answered, desperate for her lover to understand what she had done and why. "I can't bear to lose you, Tara, you're all I have left. Buffy's dead, and Giles and Dawn are gone..."

"You have Xander," Tara protested weakly. Willow looked away, but Tara could still see the pain in her. Things hadn't been the same with the two best friends since Buffy died.

"I don't...it doesn't matter, I have you. And I need you. I love you so much, Tara."

"I love you too, honey. You know that. I'm just worried-" Willow silenced her by placing a finger on her lips.

"Don't. Don't worry. I've got everything under control. I'm going to find a permanent solution. I just need time. There's nothing to worry about. I just need you to trust me, okay?"

"I trust you, Willow."

Much more was said, but not in so many words. Tactile expressions were better suited to share the depths of love, gratitude, relief and a range of other emotions than mere words would have been. And they were also more fun.

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Anya was lonely.

It had taken her a while to recognize the feeling, but she had to appreciate the irony. When she had first gotten seriously involved with Xander, she'd resented the role that his friends played in his life. She didn't understand why being with her wasn't enough for him; she had no interest in spending time with the others. They were a nuisance she tolerated for Xander's sake. But as time passed, she grew more accustomed to being part of a group. She forged her own relationships with them, particularly with Giles and with Tara until her brain was sucked. Now Buffy was dead, Dawn was missing, Giles was searching for Dawn, Tara was mostly crazy again and Willow was totally absorbed with helping her girlfriend. Even Spike had pretty much stopped coming around. She finally had Xander to herself. But he was all she had, and it wasn't enough. Especially since he spent all his time mourning Buffy, and worrying about...

The phone rang, stirring her from her reverie. Eagerly she reached for the receiver.

"Magic Box, your one stop shop for all-"

"Anya, it's me," Giles interrupted, his voice crackling over the static-filled line.

"Giles! Thank God! When are you coming home?"

"Oh dear, has something happened? Was someone hurt? Is the shop terribly damaged?"

"The shop's fine. I've taken excellent care of it. And nobody's been injured recently. But Tara's brain has gotten all screwy again. She's almost as bad as she was before...you know..." Anya trailed off, knowing there was no good way to describe the night they lost Buffy.

"I see," Giles sighed gravely. "Still, from your greeting it seemed something was further amiss."

"Oh," she replied in a little voice. "It's me."

"Sorry?"

"I miss you, Giles." Giles was touched by her plaintive tone; there was great affection in his voice as he responded.

"And I you, Anya." After a moment of warm mutual silence, Giles sighed despondently. "I'm afraid I've run into a bit of a dead end here."

"Where's here?" Anya inquired with mild curiosity.

"Sioux Falls."

"No luck tracking Dawn?" Anya asked sadly. She missed Dawn, too, even though they'd never been really close. She was so lonely she was almost missing Olaf.

"I know she was here a few weeks ago, but she's gone now and the trail's gone cold. Frankly I have no idea where to go next."

"I know where you should go. Come back to Sunnydale. Please?" Anya knew she sounded needy, and she hated it, but she was desperate. There was no response on the crackling line for long enough that she grew panicky. "Giles, are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm here. I suppose you're right. I should return to Sunnydale and regroup. See if I can come up with some new leads."

"Yes! I can help...you're coming home? Really?"

"I do want to make a few more inquiries here. If no leads to Dawn's whereabouts develop I'll head back. I'll phone you again before I leave."

"So you think you'll be back in a few days?"

"Probably. A week at the outside...Anya, are you quite certain things are all right?"

"Yes, everything's fine. Just...hurry back."

Anya hung up the phone as Xander entered the shop. He looked briefly around the empty store before coming over to give her a quick kiss. She could tell his heart was no longer in the affectionate gesture.

"Didja run out of bibbity-bobs, hon? The morning rush is usually just rushing by now."

"I closed up for inventory this morning. I'm gonna open after lunch."

"You did all the inventory by yourself? Why didn't you call in the gang to help?"

"Xander, what gang? Tara and Willow? Spike?" Anya immediately regretted her exasperated tone as she saw Xander's face fall. He still hadn't come to grips with how much things had changed.

"Well, there's me..." Anya busied herself polishing the counter as she replied. It gave her an excuse not to look into her lover's eyes.

"I didn't want to bother you. You've had a lot on your mind." With a rueful smile Xander gently placed his fingers under her chin and made her look at him.

"I'm proud of you, sweetheart. That was actually tactful." Anya just looked at him. She couldn't think of anything else to say. He continued, "What you're not saying is that I haven't really been here for you."

"No. Yes. You haven't. You're shutting me out." Xander sat heavily, He struggled for the right words, looking at her sideways.

"I don't know what to say. Everything's different. I need...time." Anya felt a lump form in her throat.

"Do you still love me, Xander?" He stood and gathered her in his arms, the question hitting him like a slap in the face. Mainly because he realized it was a valid one.

"What? Yes I...yes! Of course!" he sputtered, but it sounded half-hearted to his own ears. He could feel the heat of her tears on his shoulder, and it felt like the sear of a brand.

"Are you sure? Because I can't feel it anymore." 

Xander stroked her hair as she cried. He wanted to cry too, but he couldn't. He had failed Buffy, and now he was failing Anya. He had promised her his heart, promised her forever, and now he was welching on that deal. Not to mention that he and Willow had barely spoken since Buffy died. His best friend. Another forever deal gone sour. Everything had gone wrong so quickly.

"I'm so sorry, An. I never meant for this to happen."

"I know," Anya replied softly, her voice muffled by his shirt. Xander knew what he had to do, but it felt like he was cutting off a part of himself.

"I still love you, Anya. I always will. I just...I'm not the same person I was before...I don't think I'm what you need right now." Anya pulled away from him, clearly terrified.

"No! Please, don't say that. I...I can do better..."

"It isn't you. Don't ever think it's you. I just think...maybe we need time. Apart."

"Big bomb clock," Anya whispered. She turned her back to him, but her distress was plain to see. Then she straightened, and turned, and he shivered at the emptiness in her eyes.

"Anya, you're not gonna do-"

"I think you're right. I need new friends. Friends of my own, who don't risk their lives all the time fighting demons and then go off and die or run away or just stop loving me." Xander winced at the last words, as Anya brushed past him, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes. "I have to get to work, Xander. I need to open so I can sell things to make money. Giles is counting on me. You should go now." She started gathering up things blindly, pretending she was involved in what she was doing, as Xander stood helplessly. He didn't want to leave it there, but where else could he leave it?

"I can help-" he began lamely, then stopped when she held up her hand.

"Please. Go now, or I'll...just go!"

She didn't watch him go. And even if she had, she wouldn't have noticed the large dark eyes that had taken in the entire scene with malevolent enjoyment. The silent observer opened a small silver portal near the shop entrance and vanished through it moments before Anya turned around to stare numbly at the door.

*****

He was surprised.

That was the young man's first conscious impression after the transformation. And he was surprised that he was surprised; it was the first time in his short life he'd felt that way. Nothing that had happened to him till now, no matter how extraordinary, had stirred any feeling other than pain. He had endured his unexpected separation from his kin and the never-ending humiliation his service to Merlin had brought him with patient stoicism. But now he rose shakily to his feet and gazed around himself. He saw the world with new eyes, and it looked totally different. And a heck of a lot smaller.

"Do you like it?" He jumped, startled, and whirled around. He looked up into the eyes of a strange, tall woman. Even with his strange new vision he could tell that she was incredibly beautiful, but there was something cold about her. She was stately and graceful with silver hair that fell nearly to her ankles and eyes that were so dark they appeared to be nearly solid black, even more striking against her paper white skin. She was clothed in garments as silver as her hair; they seemed to give off light as she moved. She smiled faintly at his wondering expression. She held up her arms and a full-length mirror shimmered into existence in front of her. He felt no real alarm at the appearance of the mirror; he was accustomed to magic and illusions through his years with Merlin. She was clearly a sorceress of some sort, and quite powerful. Thoughts on the subject swiftly gave way to fascination as he gazed into the mirror and got his first real look at himself.

He was nearly as tall as she was, with white blonde hair and skin even paler than that of the strange woman. He was so fair, in fact, that he might have seemed to have no pigment at all if not for his eyes, which were a deep blue. He smiled faintly, marveling at the look of it on his face.

"It's...nice. I look nice?" The woman lowered her arms and the mirror vanished. She smiled and nodded in answer to his question, but he was too struck by the sound of his own voice to notice. He had never heard his own voice before. The warm tenor of it sent a shiver up his spine. "You did this? It's a much more powerful magic than Merlin ever did." Her smile broadened and he was happy that he seemed to have pleased the silver lady.

"Yes, it certainly is. You've been set free, my child."

"Free?" he frowned in puzzlement. "What about Merlin?" Her features grew tight with anger and he instinctively shrank back in fear. There was much he didn't understand, but he knew instinctively that angering the silver lady was extremely dangerous.

"You need never worry about him again. You are free to live your life as you see fit...but I would like to ask you a small favor, before you do." He almost wept in relief. To be free was an incredibly scary proposition. He had always served some master or another. If he was no longer to serve Merlin, he would serve the beautiful silver lady and he would serve her well.

"Of course, mistress. You have freed me from Merlin, and I am your servant." She smiled at him, pleased.

"It is an inconsequential matter, I assure you. I wish you to journey to a town in California called Sunnydale." At his sudden panicked look, she patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. "Do not fret, my dear child, I will make certain you have all the knowledge you need to survive in this world. Once you get to Sunnydale, you will make the acquaintance of a woman there by the name of Anya. Then you will await my instructions, and you will not leave Sunnydale until you do. Once I contact you, and you have completed your task, you may go anywhere you wish."

"I will do as you ask, mistress," he pledged fervently. 

"Yes, I know you will." If he had been able to distinguish such things, he might have been concerned by her ironic tone.

"Have you a name, mistress? That I might call you?"

"Call me Ostara." He sketched a deep bow, as he had seen Merlin do numerous times, and nearly fell over from the unaccustomed shift in his balance. He stood, his face flushing as she covered her mouth so as not to laugh at him outright. He felt foolish asking the next question, but he was genuinely unsure of the answer.

"Mistress Ostara...what do I call me?" She smiled at him and motioned him forward, putting a parental arm around his shoulders. Despite her affectionate manner, he found himself shivering again at her touch.

"Your name is Caspar...let's find you some clothes, my child." Caspar nodded, relieved to have an identity, and matched his stride to his mistress. He had no idea what clothes were, or why they needed to find them, but he trusted that things would be made clear soon. His mistress had told him he would have the knowledge he needed to serve her, and he had faith in his mistress. He had no one else.

Unseen by her new servant, Ostara smiled to herself, her mouth twisted and cruel. *Soon, Anyanka. Soon I will be avenged, and the suffering you are enduring now will seem like the merest pinprick relative to the agony I will deliver to you.*

*****

Feedback please!


	2. Mating Dance

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. I'm only playing with them.

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Chapter Two - Mating Dance

"It's late. Are we going to patrol?"

Stirred from his thoughts, Spike looked at the robot, standing at the foot of the bed expectantly. The sense of loss, always surprising despite its constancy, struck him hard. It looked so much like her, especially now that he had gotten it the right clothes. It was wearing a blue tank top and black leather pants over high-heeled boots. The outfit had belonged to the Slayer herself, increasing the resemblance and twisting the knife that much further into his chest. The reprogramming that Willow had done for the battle had been overridden again when he had taken the robot back to Warren for repairs, but it still sounded more like Buffy than she had before. It was exquisite agony to be with this Buffy-like creature and know that the real Slayer was dead. He kept it as much for torment as for pleasure now. Of course, he mused as it bent over to pick up the bag of stakes, there was a fine line between the two.

"Coming, pet." Spike forced himself to get out of bed, running one hand absentmindedly through hair already mussed. He pulled on the nearest pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt. He sat on the bed and pulled on his boots. Funny how even the mundane act of dressing could be taxing some days. He stood with a grunt, grabbing his duster off of the chair where he had laid it earlier. The robot was watching him with unabashed admiration, and he grimaced.

"Let's go, Spike. Let's go slay demons," the Buffybot said cheerfully, and he moaned as he followed. Idly he wondered if its programming would allow it to stake him if he ordered it to. He should have asked that wanker Warren when he had the chance.

"You remember the rule, Buffy," he cautioned as they walked out of the crypt. It turned and gave him a bright smile.

"Of course. Don't let my friends see me."

"That's right. No one must ever see you," he sighed. It turned to him and cocked its head, looking almost puzzled.

"Except you, Spike." He reached out and stroked the side of the lifelike face, shivering with a combination of revulsion and lust. It closed its eyes and leaned its face against his hand.

"Yes, luv. Except me."

*****

Xander hesitated outside the Magic Box. It would be the first time he had seen Anya since their break-up, and he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to hurt her anymore. Seeing him would probably hurt her. On the other hand, if she thought he was avoiding her, would that make it worse? He wanted her to still count on him if she needed him. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his way through and saw Anya was not at the counter. He felt no sense of relief, because Willow was there instead. That was worse.

She looked up and saw him, her face reddening. She looked away quickly, but they both knew it was too late to pretend he'd never been there. Xander walked over, sat next to her at the counter just as he had with Anya a few days earlier, and forced a smile onto his face.

"Hi." Willow managed an awkward smile in return.

"Hey." Silence. Xander thought of all the times he had sat in total silence with his best friend, and how it had never bothered him before. Now the silence felt stifling and oppressive. A question popped into his mind and he seized it gratefully, asking in a rush.

"Tara, is she...?" Willow gave him a more genuine smile now, and he relaxed a bit seeing the hope in her eyes.

"Better, actually."

"You found a spell?" She hesitated for a moment, and Xander got the distinct feeling that Willow had something important to tell him. But she simply shook her head.

"Not yet. I think I'm close, though."

"Oh. Good. That's good." The silence started again, and Xander continued speaking just to avoid it. "Very, very good."

"Xander, I hate this."

"Me too."

"Why are we so...meh...now? You're the best friend I have. Since forever. Why is this so hard?"

"I don't know. I know I don't want it to be. I miss you, Will."

"Me too. Miss you, I mean."

"What do we do? You've always been the smart one, Will. How do we fix it?"

"We do this," Willow said, and pulled him into a hug. Xander wrapped his arms around her. The act was so simple, yet healing for both of them. Both held on as if their very lives depended on it. Xander kissed the top of her head tenderly. Tears shone like diamonds in her eyes as she smiled up at him.

"I said it, you're the smart one," Xander said, his voice husky. "Are we okay?"

"We're getting there, I think. It's still hard, Xander. I keep turning around and Buffy's not here...it feels wrong."

"I know. I miss her, Will. I don't think I'll ever not miss her. But before it was you and me and Buffy, it was you and me, right?"

"Right."

"And no matter who comes into our lives, or who goes out of them," Xander paused to try to swallow the huge lump in his throat.

"We'll be together," Willow finished. "Always, Xander. You know how I feel about you. I really love you, you goof." She engulfed him in another hug, so she didn't see the look on his face when she added, "You are my very best friend. Promise me we'll talk if we ever start to not talk again, okay?"

If she had seen his face, she would have recognized the expression on it. It was the one he had worn countless times in high school, when Buffy had called him friend. It was the look of a man resigning himself to the idea that his romantic feelings were not returned by the woman he loved. He finally had faced it: Willow was the woman he really loved, the one he wanted to spend his life with. And it was never going to happen, because she was in love with someone else. He wasn't even the right gender anymore. What made it worse, he couldn't even hate Tara. He liked the blonde witch. And she was good for Willow. Xander knew he had no choice here. He had to hide these feelings before she could see them. He had just gotten her back in his life and he wasn't going to risk losing her for good. He buried his face in her hair, the familiar scent bringing a bittersweet smile to his face.

"I promise. You promise?" he said, his voice muffled by her hair.

His mouth was close enough to her ear that a long-forgotten memory [Can I kiss your earlobe?...No...oh, okay...no! Pez!] surfaced. She pulled away from him, searching his face for signs of...what? She wasn't even sure herself, but something that meant there was something else happening here, more than the reparation of a friendship.

Willow told herself she was relieved to see Xander's 'you're my best pal' look. If there was a small part of her that was disappointed, she wasn't going to acknowledge it. They had been down that particular road, and that way lies madness. She wasn't going to jeopardize her future with Tara over some momentary flare of nostalgia. That decided, Willow smiled at Xander with confidence.

"As sure as the cat dusts on Thursday." After a moment of stunned silence, Willow put her hand to her head as if to ward off a headache. Xander gave a puzzled laugh.

"What?"

"Oh, that...that's a kind of sacred vow, it's, ummm...Egyptian! Cause, you know, cats...I may have gotten the translation wrong," Willow babbled, her heart beating very fast. Tara's madness had infected her. For just a second, but she was back in control. Fortunately, Xander seemed to be buying her weird excuse.

"Sounds like you got Buffy to translate it," he remarked nostalgically. Silently they remembered their fallen friend. Willow gave him a small sad smile and he instinctively he reached out to stroke her cheek tenderly. "Hey, you okay?"

"Little headache. No big," Willow replied softly. For a moment she wanted to tell him everything, but she pushed the impulse aside. She could control this, she told herself. It was only a moment, and it wouldn't happen again. Xander saw her small frown and guessed the cause.

"Nuh-uh. It's Tara, right?" Xander's tone was so knowing, Willow began to panic until he continued, "I know you're worried. The cure is out there, we'll research and we'll find it." The enthusiastic hug Willow gave him was equal parts love and relief, but Xander didn't know that. He only knew when she pulled away from him that she was smiling her most Willowy smile. His resolve to do anything to make her happy was affirmed. He would help her find a way to help Tara. Even if that meant he had to let her go when all he wanted was to hold her forever.

"Thanks, Xander. You're the best," Willow breathed. Xander nodded, effecting a superhero pose, and she punched him in the arm, giggling. He rubbed his arm, exaggerating his nonexistent pain. She rolled her eyes at his silliness. His breath caught in his throat. She was too beautiful for words.

"I better get going, okay?" His resolve was rapidly crumbling, and he knew he had to make tracks. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and he grinned. The grin didn't leave his face until he had walked out the door. Then he buried his face in his hands.

"Trouble, Harris. You're in big, big trouble."

******

Anya sighed, absently stirring her drink. The Bronze was showcasing a new band and it was packed to the rafters. She didn't think she'd ever seen so much of humanity in one place before, but being in this crowd only underscored how lonely she felt.

So far her efforts to make new friends had pretty much been a wash. She tried at first to meet people that shared her interests, but it wasn't working out. The bank teller seemed nice enough, but started giving her very strange looks when she kept talking about the money, up until the moment the security guard had gently escorted her from the premises. Her helpful suggestions to M.A.D.D. about possible punishments for drunk drivers went over just about as well. So now she was sitting at a bar, a pathetic cliche of a newly single woman, nursing a drink and mentally plotting the vengeance she would have wished for if Anyanka came to her right now. If Anyanka was someone other than her, that was. The alcohol was confusing her thoughts and not making her feel any better, she realized with a sigh as she rose from the sofa. She was ready to get out of-

WHOMP-splash

The collision knocked her back onto the couch, liquid soaking the front of her dress. This was the perfect end to the evening, she sighed, looking up at the stranger standing with the empty glass and the apologetic expression.

"I am so, so sorry. I am the clumsiest guy in history. I can't believe I did that...and you're wet! I got you wet. It's just water...I hope that I haven't ruined your dress. Oh, dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear I am so sorry. I already said that, right? Sorry."

Anya barely heard the string of babble. She'd never seen a man like this before. He was good-looking, to be sure, but it was more than that. Something about him felt different. Felt somehow...dangerous. Attraction with an edge of fear. It was exhilarating, and immensely appealing.

He was still standing over her uncertainly, and Anya made a decision. She reached her hand up and he pulled her to her feet, brushing at the water on her dress with a napkin. Every touch sent a shiver through her. Seeing her trembling, he frowned in worry.

"Oh, no. You're cold! You're freezing. You're going to get hypothermia and die, I read about that, hu...women get that when they get too cold! And it's my fault!"

"I'm not cold," Anya said, grabbing his hand and laying it on her chest brazenly. "See? Not cold. I'm Anya." He was frozen in shock for one electrified moment, then he licked his lips nervously and smiled. He ducked his head shyly, but didn't move his hand.

"I'm C-Cas. Cas Harvey. It's good to meet you, Anya. What h-happens now?"

"I need to get out of these clothes," Anya said. Anticipation and nervousness battled for control of the butterflies that were assaulting her stomach. "Because I'm all wet. I mean my clothes." His hand began lightly tracing down the soaking front of her dress, and she shivered again. He moved in closer to her.

"Oh." His hands moved to her arms, then to her shoulders. Another step closer, now they were standing only inches apart. Anya tilted her head up. "What do I do?" he asked, then she brought her mouth up and met his. His hands slid down her back, eventually resting on her hips, while hers entwined in his white-blond hair. The kiss lasted several minutes before they broke apart, gasping.

"Oh," Anya sighed breathlessly. *Xander!* her mind whispered, then was silent. It was over between her and Xander, right? She was free to kiss, or...

"Are you okay?" Cas asked, his hands still resting lightly on her hips.

"Let's go," Anya replied huskily. Cas gave her that shy smile that sent her heart racing. A sudden thought occurred to her and she motioned for him to wait. Reaching into her purse, Anya took out a cross on a long chain and handed it to him. "Wear this, please." Looking bewildered, he slipped the chain over his head, the cross coming to rest the thin cotton of his shirt. Anya impatiently lifted it and tucked it under his shirt, smiling in approval when there was no hiss of burning flesh.

"What was that about?" Cas asked. Anya just smiled and took his hand.

"Just needed to make you wear protection," she answered as she dragged him out of the Bronze. Neither one of them saw the silvery woman stand and watch them go. Her face a mask of icy satisfaction, Ostara faded into the multitude of youth and vanished.

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Feedback is always appreciated.


	3. Marking Territory

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. Yadda yadda yadda.

***********************************

Chapter Three - Marking Territory

"You've been at that for hours," Tara said softly, placing a hand on the redhead's shoulder. Willow looked up from the computer and gave the blonde witch a wan smile.

"I know. I just want to get through a few more pages, okay?"

"Nope. Later. You need to take a break," Tara said firmly, pulling the chair away from the desk with surprising strength and helping Willow to her feet. Willow winced as she stretched muscles that had been unused for hours. She looked longingly back at the computer.

"Tara..."

"Kitchen. Cocoa. Now."

Willow managed a feeble smile at Tara's strict tone. Putting on a contrite face she allowed herself to be led to down to the common area of their dorm hall, where the community microwave was. She sat on the threadbare sofa watching Tara heat the water and empty two packets of cocoa into their favorite coffee mugs and tried not to cry. It was all going wrong. The incident at the Magic Box with Xander two days ago was no longer an isolated phenomenon. It had happened again yesterday at the Espresso Pump, just for a moment while she was ordering a latte. The counter guy thought she was cute and she was able to pass it off as a bizarre kind of flirting, but she figured she'd have to avoid the place for a while. The latest incident had been in her morning class, and was more terrifying because Willow really had no memory of it. She had been answering a question in class, and the next thing she knew everyone was staring at her like she was, well, crazy. She had talked her way out of it by claiming heat prostration; Sunnydale was the kind of place where people didn't look at absurd explanations too closely. She had been lucky, so far, but clearly conditions were degenerating fast. Willow was terrified. Time was running out.

"I've lost your mind, haven't I?" Tara asked softly as she handed Willow her mug of hot chocolate. Willow gasped and stared agape at her girlfriend, who just grinned. "It's okay. I know how it is when you get involved in something. I can move your body to another room, but your brain is still back at that computer."

"Oh. Right. Sorry!" Willow exclaimed with a nervous laugh, blowing on her cocoa then taking a careful sip. "Tara? Since I did the spell to, you know..."

"Hold my brain together?" Tara responded with a wry smile.

"Yeah. Have you been...I mean have you had any...episodes like before?"

"Oh," Tara breathed, covering one of Willow's hands with her own. "No, sweetie. I'm fine. Thanks to you. You've been worrying about me?"

"I always worry about you. You're my girl."

"Always," Tara smiled, leaning in for a kiss. She stroked Willow's hair soothingly as their lips touched almost chastely. Willow sighed and began to deepen the kiss, but Tara pulled away suddenly, frowning.

"Tara? What is it?"

"I never asked. Are you okay? The spell..."

"I'm fine," Willow answered a bit too quickly.

"Willow..."

"Tara, don't. Please. Just...just don't..."

"Don't what? Ask for the truth?"

"Everything's under control! Why can't you trust me?" Willow buried her face in her hands. Tara went to touch her hair but stopped when Willow looked up at her. The dreamy madness in her girlfriend's eyes made Tara recoil in horror and self-loathing. Willow spoke to her cocoa in a gentle reasoning tone, oblivious to Tara's dismay. "Control, control, control. The bees told me to come, but the high water won't wash me clean anymore. The stars think they're fish; they smell like mint and stick to my skin. Fan me, fan me...Tara?" The flash of madness had passed, and Tara looked at her hysterical girlfriend in confusion and growing alarm.

"No!" Tara sobbed. "Willow, no!"

"Tara? Oh God, what's wrong? Honey?" Willow gathered her girlfriend into her arms, the warmth of Tara's tears on her shoulder and a growing suspicion of the cause in her heart. Tara's next words confirmed her fears.

"W-why didn't you tell me?"

"It...just started," Willow said, looking down at her cocoa.

"It happened before." Tara's statement hung there, daring Willow to deny it. She found she simply could not.

"Y-yes. But I think...I'm sure it's temporary. I'm still experimenting with my control..."

"You have to end the spell."

"Tara-" Willow began to protest.

"You have to! I can't...this isn't right. I can't let you risk yourself like this!" Tara was getting louder as she got more agitated. Several students in the hall had paused, curious, nearby.

"And I don't want to risk you!" Willow cried. Both women recognized that they were attracting an audience at the same time, and hurriedly washed out the mugs and returned to their room in silence. The second the door had been closed, Tara gathered Willow in her eyes and held her close. The redhead began to weep, and Tara made soothing noises. When the tears had subsided somewhat, Tara pulled away and tilted Willow's head up so that their eyes met, her expression serene in its resolve.

"It's my mind. It's my sanity. It has to be my choice, honey. I'm in my right mind to choose, thanks to you. And I want you to end the spell now."

"P-Please d-don't ask me to do that," Willow whispered miserably, her breath still hitching from her sobs.

"If you love me, you'll do this for me. It's what I want."

"O-O-Okay," Willow sobbed. She wiped her eyes with a tissue and breathed deeply, trying to bring about the calm that was necessary for properly performing difficult magicks. "I h-have to get m-m-myself under control, or..."

"I understand, honey." Tara forced back her own tears. She knew if Willow saw her cry now, she'd never agree to do what had to be done. She could be strong enough for both of them. She patted Willow's back soothingly until the shuddering breaths eased.

"I'm ready," Willow said sadly. "But we don't have to do this. I'm so close to the answer, Tara. Just a few more days, that's all we need."

"My mind is made up," Tara said ironically. Willow sighed desolately and took Tara's hands in her own, closing her eyes. Tara followed suit.

"Separate that which I have joined. End that which I have begun." Electricity crackled, and the girls' bodies jerked once, twice, then once more before everything was still. Tara opened her eyes tentatively, wrinkling her nose at the smell of ozone.

"Willow, are you okay?" she asked softly. Willow opened her own eyes, trying and failing to give her girlfriend a comforting smile.

"How are you feeling?" Willow countered. Tara shrugged.

"I seem to be...okay, for now. But we should make arrangements."

"I'm going to keep trying."

"I know."

"I've got to...I'll be right back," Willow said suddenly, and ran to the bathroom. She collapsed on the floor, trembling and sick with wonder and fear. The spell hadn't worked. For some reason, they were still joined. It didn't really matter what either one of them wanted anymore. The spell would remain active until she found a permanent solution, or until she went insane. And likely, she had realized in a moment of brilliant clarity, dragged Tara back down into insanity with her.

Or worse.

***************************

Anya smiled idiotically at the customer. The woman had been nattering at her for minutes about some purchase, but Anya hadn't heard a word. Her mind was elsewhere, the same place it had been for the last couple of days. Cas Harvey.

The enigmatic blonde man had promised to come by the shop today to take her to lunch, and it was all she could focus on. Each time the bell on the shop door made its welcoming sound, she huffed a bit in disappointment. Just a customer. Not him.

It was a bit frightening how fast her feelings for Cas had grown. She had always thought Xander was the great love of her life, yet within days of their breakup she was happier than she'd ever been with her. Xander had always seemed to be embarrassed by her. Cas seemed to find her every idiosyncrasy charming. And there was something kind of sexy-dangerous about him, something that kept her off balance in a way that was exhilarating. There was a lot she still didn't know about him, but she had found out that he had been working for years as a magician's assistant and was currently unemployed. Anya had immediately wanted to offer him a job at the Magic Box, but she needed to run that by...the bell tinkled, and Anya looked up with a broad grin.

"Giles!" she squealed, launching herself at the weary Englishman. "You're back!"

"Yes, I..."

"That's so great! I need some time off."

"You...what?"

"Yes, cause you know Xander and I broke up,"

"Dear Lord, Anya, I had no idea. I'm terribly-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm over it, Giles. I've already met someone else, someone really special. And I want to spend all my time with him, but I can't because I'm working, you know? So I need time off, unless he can work here with me, so I can see him and work at the same time. He's new in town and he needs a job. He's got experience."

"Retail?" Giles asked dazedly.

"Magic. Not the real kind, the illusion kind, but still, magic experience. And, umm, I know he seems a little scary at first, but he's really sweet when you get to know him. Still scary, but sweet, and he's a great kisser, and he's really good at finding that spot-"

"Yes, yes, Anya, please, say no more. I'm happy to interview your new beau, but can I please just catch my breath first?"

"I'm just glad to see you," Anya said in a small voice.

"And I you," Giles said, smiling paternally. "I have missed Sunnydale, strange as that seems."

"No luck with Dawn?" Anya asked, suddenly guilty that she hadn't asked straight away. Giles seemed to age ten years before her eyes, his shoulders slumped with weariness.

"Unfortunately not. She could be anywhere," he stated, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes, eliminating the mist that had settled there thinking of his abortive attempt to find the teen. "I'm afraid I as a substitute parent I was a horrible failure."

"That's not true," Anya said loyally. "Dawn just needs time. She's trying to adjust to Buffy...she'll come home soon, I know it. Oh! Cas is here!" Anya broke off excitedly, looking at the door. Giles held his breath as he followed her gaze, then frowned in confusion. He could feel Anya trembling beside him, and wondered if he wasn't possibly hallucinating from exhaustion.

"The man that just came in. That's your new boyfriend?" Giles asked weakly. Anya flashed him a pleading look.

"Please don't judge him yet, Giles. I know he's kind of scary-looking," Giles squinted and blinked, but the image didn't change. The man Anya seemed to be talking about seemed impossibly milquetoast, not frightening. As Giles watched a customer brushed the man's arm. In his panicked haste to flee this perceived threat, Anya's supposedly scary boyfriend almost knocked over two displays.

"The blonde man? Wearing the gray sweater? Looking at the Idisi charms? That man?" Giles asked, trying to see what he was missing. Anya was clearly growing irritated.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes! Giles!" she said, hitting his arm. Giles cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, Anya. He's just not...quite what I expected. Not at all what I expected, actually," he said. Before Anya could reply, Cas had spotted her and was approaching with a cheerful, somewhat relieved smile. Giles couldn't help but smile himself when he saw how genuinely happy the young man seemed to see the former demon. He found himself liking Cas immediately.

"Anya," Cas said almost shyly, leaning in and giving her a kiss that was far from inhibited. Anya returned the kiss in kind, and it was at least two minutes by Giles' watch before they broke for air. Anya smiled in dazed delight and gestured vaguely at Giles.

"Cas, this is Rupert Giles, the owner of the Magic Box. Giles, this is Cas Harvey, the man you have to hire." Cas broke free of Anya's arms and lips and shook Giles' hand with enthusiasm.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Giles. Anya has spoken so well of you, I feel like I know you already...and your shop is marvelous! I love it here, it feels just like home, only better."

"Yes, quite, just where is home, Mr. Harvey?"

"East Coast, actually. No place you've ever heard of, I'm sure," Cas breezed. "Long and the short of it is, I was in a bad situation and I'm happy to be in California. And I met the most wonderful girl in the world. Anya tells me you might have a job for me?" Giles frowned at the evading of his question, but couldn't help but be reassured by the light in his eyes when he spoke of Anya.

"You'll love working here!" Anya gushed. "Giles is the best boss there ever was, and the customers come and spend lots of money, and sometimes we save the world from being sucked into Hell. It's very rewarding."

"Anya!" Giles said sharply, and Cas gave the girl a gently chastising look.

"Mr. Giles hasn't exactly offered me a position yet, sweetie. And I haven't been able to show him what I can do."

"Yes, I'm afraid we should speak of your qualifications, Mr. Harvey. Do you perhaps have any references?"

"I'm afraid not. I've only had one job my whole life, Mr. Giles. I was a magician's assistant. My ma...my boss, Merlin, provided me with room and board, but treated me no better than a slave. I started working for him when I was merely a child, and had no idea there might be something better. Then finally I escaped."

"Escaped is an interesting choice of words," Giles observed.

"I know, it's a bit melodramatic. It's just what it felt like...but it's like there's a whole wonderful world I've never seen, Mr. Giles. Wonderful sights, wonderful people...I've never been so happy. Except now I need to provide for myself, and all I know is magic."

"Not just magic, Giles. He's good at other things too...I mean, job things honey. The math thing."

"I'm kinda good at multiplication, I guess," Cas demurred, blushing bright red.

"He's being ridiculously modest. Give him something to calculate!" Anya ordered.

"That's an odd request," Giles said, blinking rapidly. Fortunately at that moment a customer walked up with several small charms and a jar of hobgoblin toes. Anya deliberately said the prices aloud as she rang them up in the cash register, never taking her eyes from her new boyfriend's face. Giles saw that Cas' eyes seemed to be focused on some point over her head. After trying unsuccessfully to convince the woman at the counter that she should buy a second jar of toes for half price, Anya called out the price for the lone $19.98 jar and Cas grinned.

"That's gonna be $94.31, with tax," he said to Giles. Anya crowed the same number with gusto a moment later, and the woman paid with a bemused glance at all three of them. Giles blinked in astonishment at the young blonde man.

"That's extraordinary, Mr. Harvey," Giles said, smiling a bit as Cas blushed again. The young man actually shuffled his feet like a schoolboy.

"Mr. Giles, please, call me Cas. Mr. Harvey sounds like...someone I'm not."

"Cas, then. And you should just call me Giles. All of my friends and, er, employees do." Smothered immediately in an enthusiastic hug by a squealing Anya, and having his hand rigorously pumped by Cas, Giles didn't think to ponder how he still knew little about the man, or how strange it was that he no longer cared. Anya pulled away to thank him again and suddenly frowned, looking over his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Giles asked. Cas immediately put a concerned arm over Anya's shoulder, and she smiled reassuringly at him.

"Nothing's wrong. I thought I saw...something. But there's nothing there. Just a trick of the light."

***************************

The shaman had seen many things in his day, but the girl who had submitted herself to days of difficult cleansing rituals and spirit walks was unique in his experience. Unlike others of his kind, he had taken care that few outside of his own people knew of his power; he had no idea how this young woman had found out about him, but it mattered not. The ritual she had requested was not unheard of, but few had approached asking for this particular ceremony with such levelheaded clarity. He had told her what was required and she had performed every test admirably. The single-mindedness with which she conducted herself was unusual given her youth, certainly. But what truly made the girl different from all others was what the spirits were telling him about her. It was the sole reason he had consented to perform this ritual that would likely place both of them in grave danger. One final cleansing act was necessary. He must speak to her of what he knew, and hear from her the truth.

"You are fashioned of flesh, my child, but you are not of this world," he said as she kneeled before him, clothed in a simple tanned leather sheath that had been purified for the ritual.

"They called me The Key. I'm some kind of energy portally thing. Someone told me I've existed almost forever," she answered. "But this life is the only one I know."

"Time itself was changed so you might be brought into being."

"Yuh-huh," the girl agreed. Despite her resolution to go through with this, the conversation was making her skin feel prickly.

"Formed of the woman you called your sister," the shaman continued. "And then she died."

"Because of me. To save me." The girl looked up at him, a single tear rolling down her cheek and falling onto the dusty ground.

"Yes," he agreed. "But not just you. I have seen it in my visions. The fabric between worlds was ripped apart. Your sister saved many people with her sacrifice."

"I know."

"Speak, child. What is it you desire of me?" The shaman knew the answer to the question; it had already been asked and answered many times. But he also knew there was more that she had not yet told him.

"I want my sister back," she stated.

"Because you miss her," the shaman replied flatly. More tears fell, and the shaman was fascinated by the pattern that was forming on the ground. Much could be read in such things.

"Because I need her," Dawn answered. "Because the world needs her, too. But that's not the main reason." The girl doubled over, and her breath came in ragged sobs.

"Tell me," the shaman said, leaning forward intensely. Dawn's head was bowed almost to the ground, and when she looked up again he could see the agony in her eyes. The pattern that had formed around her spoke what she was going to say as plainly as her words, but the words were crucial to the success of the ritual. He breathed deeply, preparing himself for what was to come.

"Because she needs me. Because she's in pain, and I can feel it." This was the final truth, the one that the shaman needed to hear. The young woman who had died was still tied to this world, and thus his magic was not only permitted, but also desperately needed.

"You will do what is required of your own will?"

"Anything."

"You understand the risk," the shaman said unnecessarily.

"Anything."

"Then we begin," he replied. Somewhere in the shadows two men began to drum a rhythm that Dawn realized matched the beating of her heart. The rhythm grew faster as the shaman approached, his voice raised in prayer-song. The chant grew ever louder as he raised the knife. 

Dawn closed her eyes. More than the fear, more than the pain, she felt a wave of peace overtaking her. As she lost consciousness, one word fell from her lips.

"Buffy."

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Feedback is always appreciated.


	4. Trust Your Instincts

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. Yadda yadda yadda.

***********************************

Chapter Four - Trust Your Instincts

Spike hadn't survived this long, particularly the last couple unhappy chipped years, without impeccable timing and an instinct for the right time to cut your losses and run. It grated on his nerves, it went against his nature...but sometimes it was what you had to do. And he was nothing if not pragmatic.

Twice tonight he and the Buffybot had turned tail and run from overwhelming odds. Clearly the undead population of Sunnydale was less impressed with his faux Slayer than he'd hoped. He stole a rueful sideways glance at the robot as they rounded the corner to safety and could understand the problem. It just didn't quite measure up to the original. In so many ways.

Of course that didn't stop him from running his hands over every inch of lifelike flesh a moment later as he held its body against a mausoleum wall, kissing it with recklessness fueled by lust and their narrow escape. With his eyes closed, it was easier to pretend...but impossible to forget. A flash of painful memory made him open his eyes, just in time to see a shadow approaching. For a moment he steeled himself for a fight, but then he sensed a heartbeat; he wrested the crypt door open and shoved the robot inside.

"Spike?" it asked in confusion.

"Be quiet. This is hiding time," he said in a harsh whisper, shoving the door closed. He knew the robot wouldn't make a sound; it was programmed to be quiet at his command. He just managed to whirl around and lean nonchalantly against the door when Xander Harris walked around the corner, stake at the ready. The younger man started in surprise.

"Spike! What are you up to?"

"Same as you, I suspect. Doin' a bit of patrolling, keeping Sunnydale safe for girl scouts and puppies," Spike said quickly. Xander's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Right. I thought I heard other voices. You alone?"

"How else would I be, these days?" A moment of uncomfortable silence passed between them. Spike lit up a cigarette and eyed the boy with thinly disguised distaste. "Don't look at me like that, all pitying the poor heartbroken neutered vamp. Moves you to the top of my list of people I'm going to kill soon as I get my chip taken care of."

"Right. That threat's just as scary as it was - say, guess what? That threat's never been scary. But you're right about one thing. You're pitiful, Spike. And you know what else?"

"There's a vampire behind you?"

"No, that's not-What? Ooof!" Xander landed hard on his stomach from Spike's shove as the blonde moved in to take on the new threat. Unfortunately, his motivation behind the hard push was not entirely pure; the chip kicked in. Spike grabbed his head, moaning in pain. The attacking vampire was able to quickly get the upper hand, pinning Spike to the ground with a triumphant growl. The growl was followed briefly by a puzzled yelp before the vampire exploded into dust, and Spike looked up into Xander's serious brown eyes. Xander offered him a hand and Spike grudgingly let him help him to his feet.

"Even then," Spike mumbled, not looking at the man who had just saved him. "One for one. No one owes anyone else."

"Yeah," Xander agreed. "But I was thinking...patrolling in pairs, better than single, you know?"

"I don't think..." Spike began, then stopped seeing Xander's distrustful frown return. "Fine. Once around the park, then I need to get back to my own business." The two headed off, Spike stealing nervous glances back over his shoulder at the crypt that held his secret. He hoped the robot would stick to its programming for once and await his return; sometimes it honed in on him instead. If that happened it was all over for the both of them.

"This is good," Xander said tentatively. "The patrolling, I mean."

"Sure, mate," Spike said with feigned disinterest. The truth was that on some level he had missed contact with the others. Talking to someone whose responses hadn't been programmed was kind of nice, even if it was just Xander Harris.

"We should maybe, you know, plan to do this. Sometimes."

"You asking me out, Harris?" Spike asked gruffly. To his surprise, Xander grinned.

"Yeah, it's the cheekbones, Spike. I can't resist your manly cheekbones." The two exchanged small chuckles, and Spike made a silent vow.

*The Buffybot stays my little secret. None of them must ever see it. They wouldn't understand.*

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"I can check in three days from now," Tara said suddenly. She and Willow had been eating breakfast in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Willow almost jumped out of her seat when Tara spoke; it took her a moment to process the words.

"Check in? To the hospital?" Willow's quiet voice spoke volumes about how she felt about that idea.

"Yes," Tara said. Willow's frown deepened.

"But you said you haven't had any...episodes. Maybe...maybe we have time..." Willow's hopeful voice trailed off at Tara's sad but resolute expression.

"Episodes that I know of," Tara corrected gently. "It's only a matter of time, Will, and time's running out, we both know it is. In three days I probably won't even know who I am. Or where, so it won't matter."

"Don't say that!" Willow responded.

"I have to say it. You need to start...we need to accept it."

"I'll never accept it," Willow said, her resolve face set like stone. "Do you understand me? I'm never letting you go." Tara moved her chair closer to Willow. She reached out and took the redhead's face in both hands, wiping away the single tear that had trailed down despite the hard look in her eyes. She released her after a quick kiss.

"Please, baby. Don't make this so hard on yourself. I want you to be free of this, to live your life. To maybe, one day, love someone else." Willow turned her chair to face Tara's, her eyes glittering intensely.

"I won't. I'll never love another woman," Willow vowed, and Tara frowned. She put her arms around her girlfriend and brought Willow's head to her shoulder, resting it there comfortingly.

"I need you to promise me you're not going to cut yourself off, Will. From other people, from your friends. From love."

"Tara-"

"Promise me," said Tara desperately. Willow nodded unhappily.

"I promise," Willow whispered, right before her mind slipped again. She grabbed hold of Tara's hair and began playing with it idly, fascinated by the way the light shone through it. "So pretty," she murmured.

"I think you're pretty too," Tara said, mistaking her girlfriend's sudden spaciness as just a sign of her general upset. She gave Willow another quick squeeze, then got up from the table. "I've got some things to do, before...do you want to come with me?" Willow shook her head, looking down, and Tara nodded sadly. "Then I'll see you later, okay?"

Willow didn't answer but her shoulders began to shake as she buried her face in her hands. Tara wanted to wrap her arms around her in comfort, but hesitated. This might be a good thing, a sign that Willow was coming to terms with what had to happen. Tara decided to leave her be, turning to leave with a shuddering sigh, almost a sob. Willow's hair was hanging in her face, obscuring her expression. If Tara had waited a few more moments, she would have seen Willow's expression as she lifted her head and known that something was seriously wrong. Because Willow wasn't crying. She was laughing, her eyes reflecting madness.

***************************

So far Giles had been pleased with Cas on his first day. His work ethic was good, and despite making eyes at each other frequently, he and Anya had managed to keep their personal contact down to acceptable levels. A sudden thought made him frown as the young man helped him stack the bookshelves near the register.

"I almost forgot, Cas. Your magical experience. Can you tell me more about it? Is there any type of magic you're particularly adept at?" Giles asked. He was slightly embarrassed at his impulsive hiring of the boy without conducting a thorough interview and background check. Anya was working the register nearby, but he could tell her attention was more on the two of them than on the customers.

"My..." Cas began, then swallowed and continued more confidently, "The magician I worked for was really just an illusionist, but I've read a lot about real magick, too. I know a few little tricks that come in handy from time to time." From the expression on Anya's face, Giles could tell this was news to her as well. She had finally dispatched her last customer with perfunctory politeness and came to join them.

"You never told me that, Cas. You can do magick? Can you show me?" she asked, rapt attention in her eyes.

Cas blushed at her attention and nodded. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes...then faded and vanished like he'd never been there at all. The books he had been holding disappeared with him; the books in Giles' hands clattered to the floor. Anya gave a little breathless scream.

"It's okay, I'm right here," a voice came drifting down from above. Giles and Anya looked up to the loft, and saw Cass standing at the top of the ladder, looking down at them with a grin. He hurried back to join them the normal way, and Giles put his hand over his heart.

"Extraordinary. I do say you gave me a bit of a turn."

"That's British for 'You scared the bejeezus out of me,'" Anya quickly amended.

"I'm sorry...that's really my best trick, Mr. Gi-I mean, Giles. Short-range self-translocation."

"Yes. Well. That's a rather advanced type of spell, Cas. I'm surprised you managed it so easily."

"He should talk to Willow and Tara," Anya gushed. "Maybe they could all do spells together. Tara and Willow are friends of ours. They're witches, and they're lesbians so I know they won't try to steal you or anything." Cas looked bemused as Giles reddened and cleared his throat.

"Yes, well, Cas...I'm sure I don't need to tell you that magick, real magick, is nothing to be trifled with. If you do wish to try any new spells, I do hope you'll consult with me before proceeding."

"Sure," Cas replied easily. He picked up the books that Giles had dropped earlier and returned to shelving them, whistling happily. Giles looked over at Anya and saw that she was watching her new boyfriend and shivering. He drew her out of Cas' earshot.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm great," Anya replied softly. "It's just...I know Cas would never hurt me, but sometimes he still frightens me."

"In what way?" Giles asked, frowning in paternal concern. Anya was one of his own and he would not have her being hurt.

"Yeah, right! Like you haven't noticed how threatening he seems. Honestly, I was a bit worried about that he might scare off customers, but they seem to like him."

Giles walked away, mentally shaking his head. She was a unique girl, that was for certain; he never would understand the things that frightened her. Giles stopped in his tracks, a strange thought almost forming in his head. Before he could really get a handle on it, it was gone. If anyone had been looking at him in that moment, they would have seen his eyes flash silver for a second. Giles shook himself as if waking from a daydream.

"Where was I just going? I swear, senility is just around the corner...ah, yes. Leads on Dawn," he said, heading back into his office to make more telephone calls. He hated to think what the girl might be going through, out there on her own. He would find her and bring her home. He had to.

***************************

At first there was the Pain, and the Pain was in her and with her and around her and it had always been there. Sometimes she dreamed of a time before the Pain, and there were faces there, faces that she almost knew...and then the Pain came and destroyed the dream, reminded her that there was no before, there was only the Pain.

There was a sound, it was faint and hard to hear, but she strained her ears just the same. She was tired of listening to her own screams, tired of only knowing the Pain. The sound was drums, growing louder and louder until she could no longer hear her own screams. And with the drums came light, light that surrounded her like a bubble and suddenly the Pain was gone, as if it had never been. She wept cleansing tears, and each tear that hit the bubble seemed to make it grow lighter and fly higher, higher until she saw nothing but empty sky. She was not afraid of floating in this void, not while surrounded by the bubble that was made of good feelings, feelings of peace and love and joy; feelings she was beginning to remember. She saw the silvery rift that tore through the emptiness for only a moment before she passed through it, but it was also familiar...and then the bubble faded and there was blood and dirt and the drums were back. The drums the drums and they were so loud she covered her ears until finally she faded back into blackness, not knowing what would happen next and no longer caring because the Pain was gone, was gone for good. Somewhere deep in her consciousness she heard a man's voice, his words making her wonder momentarily and in the next moment forgotten.

"It is done. Blood has restored blood. The Warrior of the Light walks the earth again."

***************************

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	5. Gone to Ground

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. You know the drill.

***********************************

Chapter Five - Going to Ground

"Spike?"

The voice in the dim light startled the vampire out of his reverie. Normally the bot didn't speak unless they were running a program. He supposed it was time to recharge it, and it felt he needed reminding. He rolled over and looked into the all-too-familiar eyes. 

"Yeah."

"Is my performance not satisfactory?" the Buffybot asked. The troubled expression on its face was almost as stunning as the question.

"What d'ya mean?" Spike asked, honestly confused. The bot frowned, trying to express something it was struggling to understand.

"My programming tells me I am to make you happy, but I have not. You're sad. And sometimes I think you're mad at me. I think I must have a malfunction."

"I'm not mad at you," Spike said, looking at the bot with sad near-affection. "And your performance is fine. You're doing the best you can."

"Then I do not understand. Please explain why you are sad," the bot said innocently. Spike was going to yell that it was none of its business, but the guileless concern in its eyes made him reach out and stroke its cheek gently instead. 

"Because Buffy's gone," he said, his voice harsh with pain. The Buffybot looked puzzled.

"But I am Buffy."

"No, you're not," Spike said with a humorless laugh. "You're just not, luv. No matter how much you look like her, sound like her, fight like her...everything else like her, or so I imagine...you'll never be Buffy. S'not your fault."

"Maybe if you had Warren change my programming..."

"No!" Spike exclaimed angrily, then softened his tone again. "No, luv. It wouldn't help. You can't be her." He turned his back on her. "She's gone."

The Buffybot had been programmed not to cry, but as it turned its back on the vampire it loved, for the first time it wished it could. It never occurred to it that wishing was outside of its programming too.

********************

"Willow, wait!"

Willow turned jerkily, plastering a fake smile on her face.

"Xander, hi! Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's just fine. How are you?" he asked, his brown eyes concerned. The phony smile slid off of her face at once. He was alarmed at how pale she was, at the shadows he saw under her eyes. His best friend appeared about to collapse from exhaustion.

"Tara called you," she said flatly. "She told you about tomorrow."

"Yeah. Will, why didn't you call me?"

"I just...I'm sorry, Xander. It's hard for me to talk about it."

"She's really worried about you, and so am I," he said.

"I'm okay. I'm dealing. I have to go."

"Promise me you'll come by the Magic Box later. Anya wants me to meet her new boyfriend, I could use the moral support."

"Are you okay with that?" she asked, quick to set her own worries aside as always when he was in crisis.

"It's weird," Xander admitted. "But I'm okay. Giles likes the guy, and if he makes her happy then I'm happy for them both. That sounded mature, right?"

"Definitely," Willow said with the ghost of a real smile on her face. "Don't worry. I'll go by the shop after school. I've really got to get going, I'm gonna be late for class as it is."

"Sure. Go. Giddy-up. Off with you!" Xander said, making shooing motions with his arms. Willow giggled at his silliness, but the second her back was turned her smile was gone and the gray fatigue again clung to her features. She was actually going to see a powerful warlock that she had heard might be able to help Tara. And if not, she was hoping he could give her some clue of how to end the spell that was dragging her down into madness.

********************

Sana watched as her husband left the medical tent. He looked wearier than she had ever seen him, but his eyes were alight with purpose in a way she had not seen for some time. Helping a Warrior of the Light cross over from the Deathlands was definitely the most dangerous thing he had ever attempted. But it was also probably the most important ritual he had performed, and mercifully it had been successful. Sana was a mage of some skill herself, and she had already read the portents. Something dark and foreboding was coming.

"How are they?" she asked as he reached her and they touched foreheads in greeting. He grimaced, but his eyes were hopeful.

"Unwell, but it is to be expected. To go through such a thing untouched would not be possible."

"But you believe they will recover," Sana asked. Her husband nodded confidently.

"The Light is strong in them. It will see them through this, make them well. But the Warrior is changed. Only time will bring her back to wholeness. Time and love."

"She is needed. The balance is tipping towards the Darkness," Sana observed. The shaman nodded gravely.

"I too have seen the signs. I only hope she will be ready to help in time to restore the balance. Soon it will be too late."

Wrapping his arms around his wife, the shaman walked wearily away. Inside the tent, Buffy slept and she dreamed. In the dream she saw people, people she knew but couldn't quite remember. People she knew were her friends. She saw a red-haired girl, the one she knew was her very best friend, fall into a huge dark spider web, getting more and more entangled until she was completely wrapped in the strange threads. A dark haired young man [*Xander*, her mind whispered] tried to cut her loose but the silk strands were too strong. Then the redhead...*Willow*... burst forth from her silk cocoon, transformed into a monster. She set upon Xander at once and devoured him...to the side a blonde girl...*Tara*...watched and wept. Then a silver figure appeared and everything grew incredibly cold, and she heard a girl scream. The girl was Anya, her mind told her...and then she saw all of them, Anya and Tara and all her friends turn blue and then silver and then black and disappear, and the figure grew nearer and nearer and Buffy was ice, her whole body was ice and she couldn't bear it...and the figure spoke a word, one single word that made Buffy awake with a scream.

The word was death.

********************

"Hello Cas."

Cas almost dropped the jar of marnox root he was holding. He had almost forgotten the reason he had come to Sunnydale in the first place, the benefactor that had made it possible. He quickly kneeled before her.

"I am honored, Mistress," he said, trembling with nervousness.

"Rise, my child. It is you that honors me," Ostara said smoothly. Cas got to his feet and met her gaze. He couldn't repress an involuntary shiver.

"I...I do?" Cas stammered. Ostara smiled coolly.

"Yes, of course. You have done everything I've asked. You have found Anyanka, worked your way into her life." Ostara's mention of his girlfriend made Cas forget his fear; he bounced enthusiastically, his eyes twinkling with delight.

"Yes, yes, mistress. I must thank you. Anya is...she's just so wonderful. And being human is just amazing. I've never been so happy."

"I'm delighted," Ostara answered, her tone neutral. She regarded him for a moment before she continued, "I must ask, Cas. You haven't forgotten your first loyalty is to me?" Cas' blue eyes widened in shock.

"Mistress, do you doubt me? You rescued me, you...if it wasn't for you none of this would be happening. I am your servant, now and always," he answered fervently. She nodded in satisfaction.

"Excellent, Cas. Soon I will ask you to do one final favor. Once you have completed that task, you will be free to go wherever you wish."

"Thank you, mistress. But I think I'll be staying here in Sunnydale. Anya's here, and I want to be wherever she is." Ostara smiled thinly, fading out of Cas' sight but watching him speculatively for a few moments more. Things could not be going more according to plan.

"We shall see, my child. We shall see."

********************

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	6. The Art of Camouflage

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. You know the drill.

Chapter Six - The Art of Camouflage

Willow entered the Magic Box with the air of someone on their way to their own execution. Her visit to the warlock had been fruitless. He had known why the spell had failed to be released: her love for Tara prevented it. A spell cast in love can only be undone by love. Only if she fell out of love with Tara could she work the counter spell. Or if someone who loved her with her whole heart, someone she loved more than Tara, performed a Ritual of Calling, would she be free. Willow's shoulders sagged. It was impossible. She was certain there was no one she loved more than Tara.

Anya greeted her cheerily and she plastered a fake smile on her face. A quick and disappointing search of the shop turned up no sign of Xander, but her smile became genuine when Giles came in from the back. She had spoken to him on the phone, but this was the first time she had seen him in person since he had returned. Willow launched herself across the room and grabbed him in a huge hug.

"It's you! You're really here!" she gushed, and Giles returned her hug warmly, chuckling a bit at her enthusiasm.

"Was I gone that long?" Giles asked.

"It seemed like forever," Willow said solemnly as she pulled away. Giles' concerned frown made her move a bit further away from him; the Englishman sometimes had a way of sensing...

"Willow, are you all right?" he asked softly. Her bottom lip quivered, but she managed to hold herself together.

"I'm hanging in. Tara's going to the hospital. I haven't been able to cure her, Giles. I tried really hard." At the last word her voice broke, and her control not too long after. Giles pulled her into a hug again and let her cry, recognizing that his quiet strength was more soothing than his words would have been. After a few moments she pulled away, still sniffling but managing a smile again.

"I know you did your best, Willow. Sometimes things happen, terrible things...what I'm trying to say is, you mustn't blame yourself," Giles said solemnly.

"You either. For Dawn, I mean. You were great. It's not your fault she left, Giles."

"I wasn't up to being her parent, I'm afraid," Giles confessed, shadows of self-recriminations in his eyes. Willow shook her head firmly.

"None of us were up to it. We all failed her," she said, biting her bottom lip. "And, you know, she failed all of us, too. She should have stuck it out."

"She's little more than a child, and she's been through so much."

"Dawn is strong, Giles. Don't forget what she's made of." Cas entered the room and made a beeline for Anya, the two of them sharing a quick but passionate kiss. "That's Anya's new guy, huh?"

"That's Cas Harvey."

"He's kinda cute," Willow observed absently. "What's he like?"

"Come see for yourself," Giles answered, bringing her over and introducing his newest employee. Willow didn't miss the way Anya's hand tightened on her new boyfriend's arm as they exchanged pleasantries. She looked at Giles and rolled his eyes, causing the older man to chuckle. Over Cas' shoulder she saw Xander enter the shop, his expression carefully neutral. Willow could see that slight extra-widening of his eyes that meant he was dreading what he was walking into; it reminded her of the days of high school biology quizzes.

"Xander's here," she said happily. Anya quickly ran over to greet Xander, then both stood there awkwardly for a few moments while they tried to figure out the proper greeting protocol. After a few seconds Anya gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and Willow saw Cas tense. She grinned inwardly at the obvious signs of jealousy. Xander came over and gave Willow a brief but tender one-armed squeeze. She reached without looking for his hand and held it momentarily, telling him without words that she was there for him. Cas cleared his throat, and Xander gave him a strained but polite smile.

"Xander Harris," he said, holding out his hand. Cas took it immediately in a firm handshake.

"Cas Harvey." After an uncomfortable moment, he continued, "Anya's told me a lot about you."

"Yeah, me too. About you. Good things," Xander added hastily. Cas gave him an amiable grin.

"Yes, good things here, too." The silence this time stretched for more than a moment, and Willow was about to babble something when Xander met Cas' eyes so seriously it made the words die in her throat.

"Anya's a wonderful girl," he said, and they all understood what he was saying, even Anya. Don't hurt her. Don't mess this up the way I did. Cas got the message too, and returned the serious look after a quick affectionate glance at his girlfriend.

"She's the most amazing person I've ever met. I'm just so lucky."

"Don't forget that," Xander said with a protective look at Anya. His ex-girlfriend was blushing furiously. He grinned at that.

"If I do, she'll remind me," Cas said sincerely, causing Giles, Willow and after a moment Xander to break into laughter. Anya gave her new honey a light kiss of appreciation. The atmosphere had immediately become more relaxed.

"Xander, since you're here, perhaps you could help me with something. There's a shipment in the back that includes a rare sarcophagus-"

"As opposed to the common kind?" Xander asked with a grin. Giles rolled his eyes and continued.

"As I was saying, a rare sarcophagus that I'm afraid is proving quite heavy. I think between you, Cas and myself we should be able to move it."

"Sure, I can flex manly muscles for you Giles."

"Cas has great muscles too," Anya said defensively. At Xander's raised eyebrow and the nonplussed looks of the others, she added more softly, "for lifting sarcophagi and other...things..."

"Willow, could you help Anya mind the shop while we're in the back?" Giles asked smoothly. Anya looked a bit put out, but Willow nodded happily. When the three men had gone to the back she and Anya looked at each other.

"There aren't any customers," Anya observed as if it was somehow Willow's fault. The redhead shrugged.

"So, what needs doing?"

"Nothing...well, some of those shelves over there need straightening. You can do that. I'm going to count the money again."

Willow shook her head as she went over to the shelves. Some of the books had been pulled out of whack. As she reached for the first book, her eyes took on a glazed look. She pulled one out and looked at it, then deliberately dropped it on the floor, smiling at the sound it made. She did it again, only this time slamming the book hard. Anya came over, upset and confused.

"What are you doing?" Anya shrieked.

"May I help you?" Willow asked her politely, then giggled, throwing another book. Anya grabbed her hands to try to stop her.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Shhhh. Did you hear that?" Willow asked in an excited whisper. Confused, Anya let go of her hands. Willow immediately grabbed another book and swung it towards Anya's head, missing her by inches. The former vengeance demon stumbled backwards, losing her balance and landing on her behind. Willow smiled down at her. "The thumping. Isn't it wonderful? The sound of it and the feet...you can't see it, so unlucky for you."

"You've gone over the edge," Anya whispered. Willow jumped on top of her, covering her mouth with one hand as she batted playfully at her head with the other.

"Pay attention. They don't like it when you're lost. You don't see the silver lady...you're late, you're late, you're late..." Willow began applying pressure to Anya's neck with her free hand. The terrified girl tried to buck her assailant off, but Willow was too strong. Then just as suddenly as it had gone Willow's mind snapped back into place. She stared down wild-eyed at what she was doing. "Oh my God...Anya...I'm so sorry," she said, pulling away from the girl and scurrying backwards until she hit the bookshelf. Several more books fell to the shop floor, the sound making both girls jump.

"You're crazy," Anya accused hoarsely, one hand on her throat, the other pointing at Willow. The redhead covered her head with her hands, near tears.

"No, I...I...tell Giles I'm sorry...tell Xander, too...I have to go!" Willow said. She turned and fled before Anya could stop her.

"Willow, wait!" Anya yelled as the door slammed, just as the three men came running out of the back of the shop. Giles was stunned by the fallen books and Anya sprawled on the floor.

"Good Lord, what happened?" he asked, as Cas and Xander ran to help Anya to her feet.

"Willow happened. She's gone all psycho."

"What are you talking about?" Xander demanded.

"Willow...she was throwing books, and she tried to hit me with one and fell down. She started talking all this gibberish, and then she tried to choke me. And then all of a sudden it was like she woke up or something, and then she ran away."

"What sort of gibberish?" Giles asked with a frown.

"Something about thumping, a silver lady...I don't know, it was crazy talk."

"What silver lady?" Cas asked. If any of them had been looking at him at that moment, they would have seen him twitching nervously.

"I honestly have no idea...it was just so...and she tried to kill me!" Anya said emphatically, feeling like they were getting off the main point.

"Willow wouldn't do that. There has to be some other explanation. Giles?" Xander asked desperately, ignoring the hurt look in his ex-girlfriend's eyes.

"I also find it hard to believe that Willow's taken leave of her senses so suddenly," Giles said, then seeing Anya's betrayed glance, added, "Perhaps...possession of some kind? We'll need to research this carefully."

"Great. You guys research. I'm gonna go find Will. She could be in trouble," Xander said, running out the door before anyone could object. Anya sighed, looking at Cas.

"Guess we should clean up Willow's mess before we figure out why she's wacky," she said bitterly. Cas frowned.

"I thought she was your friend," he noted, crouching down to retrieve some of the fallen volumes.

"I thought so too. But I guess she's only my friend when she's not crazy or possessed or whatever."

"We should start looking in the Transdimensional Codices..." Giles began as the phone rang. He picked it up while still scanning the bookshelf for the texts he needed. "Magic Box, your one stop...Good Lord! Dawn! Are you alright? Where are you?"

Anya froze, listening intently, and Cas did likewise, looking puzzled, but Giles said nothing more illuminating than a few 'Dear-Lord's and a number of 'I-see's. By the time he hung up the phone he was as pale as Anya had ever seen him. She grabbed his sleeve impatiently.

"Well? Is she okay?"

"She's...yes, she sounded well," Giles said, his expression glazed over. He stared at nothing for a moment, and Anya was just about to slap him when his eyes snapped back into focus. He abruptly reached for his car keys, his movements jerky with haste. "I must go."

"Go? Now? But Willow, possessed psycho-killer thing research, remember?" Anya cried.

"Yes, do go on without me," Giles answered absently as he fled the shop nearly at a run, leaving Anya and Cas to stare at each other in shock.

"Does this happen a lot?" Cas asked mildly as his girlfriend began a full-fledged meltdown.

"I can't believe this!" Anya practically shouted. Cas winced at the loudness of the noise in the empty shop, then shrugged.

"I guess not. So what do we do now?" he asked. She stared at him for a moment, then looked around at the lack of customers. They were completely alone.

Anya stalked to the front of the store, locked the door, turned the sign to 'Closed' and ran back to where Cas was still standing. She threw herself into his arms, kissing him for all he was worth. All Cas could manage was a squeaky exclamation.

"Oh."

Willow ran into her dorm room and slammed the door behind her, panting. She stared at the door for a moment, then hurriedly locked it, pulling the chain.

They'll have to lock me up. It's the only answer...Giles can put me in a cage like we did with Oz only it won't be for a few days a month but forever... She reached for the phone and called the Magic Box, shaking so badly she could barely hold the phone. After a moment she got the machine. She stared at the phone in shock for a moment before dropping it back on the receiver and collapsing on the floor, her trembling legs no longer willing to hold her.

"Oh God," she sobbed. "What do I do? What can I do?" Willow's eyes searched her room for the answer. Tara. Tara's coming back here, I have to tell her... A small piece of pink paper on her desk caught her eye. She pulled herself to her feet and walked over there, dread in her heart. It was a note from Tara, saying that she needed to get some matters settled and had to make a quick overnight trip, that she was with someone who was aware of her situation and that she didn't want Willow to worry.

She's trying to protect me from herself. God, you could choke on the irony, Willow thought, crumpling the note into a small ball and flinging it in frustration. She heard something when it landed that gave her sudden inspiration. I'm almost out of time. I hope this works, for everyone's sake. I need to tell them...they have to stop me.

Spike stirred from his slumber with a languorous stretch and a sigh. Such a deep sleep was rare for him these days; he almost always had dreams. Nightmares, he should call them, but he wouldn't. There was something just...wrong about an evil vampire having nightmares. He would often wake up screaming, and the bot would come and soothe him, holding him until he was able to sleep. He frowned. He had been too hard on it earlier, really. It tried hard, and it had been a great comfort to him. Not its fault that it could never equal the original. Not its fault that sometimes it caused him more pain than pleasure.

He absently reached to the other side of the bed and sat straight up when his hand hit air, then sheet. He gasped aloud at the sight that greeted his suddenly wide-awake eyes.

"Oh, no," he moaned to no one. For the Buffybot was gone.

Feedback is always appreciated.


	7. The Scent of Fear

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. You know the drill.

***********************************

Chapter Seven - The Scent of Fear

It was the first time that Cas hadn't felt at peace after making love to Anya. Becoming human had been a big adjustment, and at first the restrictions that his benefactor had put on him didn't seem that important. He didn't know Anya then; heck, he could barely tell one human from another. But he'd gotten to know her, and found that to know was, at least in his case, to love her. 

Cas wished he was able to express all the reasons he loved Anya. She was frank but kind, worldly but still somewhat innocent in a way he related to. It was as she had been plucked from some other place and made human as he himself had been; he briefly considered that she was one of his kind, but rejected it. Cas was pretty sure he would have known that somehow. He was so happy to be the man she wanted, but now he felt uneasy. She prized honesty and truth above all else and everything they had together was built on a lie. So now he lay beside this wonderful girl. He should be basking in the afterglow; instead he felt like he was being eaten from the inside out. Anya's sudden hiccup brought his attention fully back to her. His love was crying, and Cas felt even guiltier. He reached over and pulled her closer to him.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked instinctively, tenderly brushing his hand across her face to remove the tears. Despite her distress she smiled into this palm.

"I can't believe Xander didn't believe me," Anya sniffed. Cas was frowning. An unpleasant but increasingly familiar sensation was rapidly overtaking him.

"Why do you care about what he thinks? I thought you two were over?" he asked. His voice sounded strange to his own ears, too gruff and deep. Anya looked at him in surprise.

"We are. I am. Totally over him. But, still, we were together for a while, we almost got married...I thought he valued my opinion a little...oh my God! You're jealous!"

"Jealous? I'm not...okay, I guess I am."

"I like it. It's very manly. Just as long as you don't get all aggressive and take it out on me."

"What?"

"I've seen it happen to so many women," Anya said matter-of-factly. "Hundreds of times, thousands even."

"Where?" Cas asked innocently, and at that moment it hit Anya. Her new boyfriend didn't know she used to be a vengeance demon. She opened her mouth to explain her past...and closed it in panic. Would he feel the same way about her if he knew she was over a millennium old and had spent years cursing men? It had been such a major issue for Xander at the beginning of their relationship...and Xander's romantic history to that point made former vengeance demon look like at least par for the course, if not a trade up in some circumstances. But Cas was different...maybe he'd stop wanting to be with her if he knew about her past. Maybe...maybe he'd stop loving her. Anya swallowed hard, looked at her lover and for the first time she could remember, lied through her teeth.

"I was kinda exaggerating there. I haven't really seen it happen to hundreds of women, I've, ummm, read about it, yeah, in lots of books. Hundreds. Thousands."

"Oh," Cas said, clearly satisfied with her answer. Anya wanted desperately to get back to her point.

"But you won't do that with me, right? You won't hurt me?"

"I swear I never will," Cas said. He wholeheartedly meant the words, but he still felt like a liar.

***************************

The lie weighed on Tara's heart like an anvil, but it was necessary. Something was wrong. She knew it with the same kind of certainty that she'd had when she first met Willow, that this girl was going to be important, more important than any other. That it was worth the risk she thought she was taking at the time, the risk of being found out, of being shunned or killed. That was the certainty that she had now that something was very, very wrong with that girl whom she'd loved on sight. Tara was most sure because there was nothing wrong with her.

She'd been waiting for the episodes to start up again, to lose little pieces of time, to see the frightened looks of strangers...and nothing. It hadn't happened, not once, since she had Willow reverse the spell. She had toyed with the thought that perhaps she had been cured, through some miracle. Tara had seen miracles before, had seen them, touched them, played with them, some might say even performed them. What she was dealing with was not a miracle. It was a disaster, she knew it as sure as her love for Willow.

It was her love for Willow that had driven her to this place, to this person. She had brought with her the spell book from which Willow had taken the original spell, as well as the counter spell...she couldn't be sure if her lover had modified the first spell, and if she had in what way. Willow was notorious for her color-coded note taking in class, but horrible about writing down her spells. But it was the best she could do. She hoped it would be good enough. Steeling her nerves, she knocked on the black door. The man who answered was nondescript. He wore a worn bathrobe and slippers, but the power coming off of him nearly knocked Tara back.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

"I need help...my friend is in trouble," Tara said breathlessly. The warlock scowled at her.

"It's late. And I already told your lover, girl. There's nothing I can do for her," he said shortly, moving to close the door behind him, stopping at the last minute when he saw Tara's stunned expression.

"What?" the witch asked dully. The warlock sighed and opened the door wide. Tara passed through the doorway and it closed automatically behind him.

"You'd better have a seat. Since your friend didn't share with you what's happening to her, I'll take it from the top." Tara sat gingerly on a patchwork sofa, the warlock sitting across from her and eyeing her appraisingly. "Yes...I think you might have an idea that the one you love did not." 

***************************

Giles had broken every speeding law in three states to arrive at the small dwelling Dawn had directed him to. His heart was hammering in his chest. The things that Dawn had told him seemed quite unbelievable. The risk the girl had taken was great, and he would have a serious talking to her...but it seemed that she had done something that none of them had even realized needed doing. She had rescued Buffy from hell. As his heart rejoiced with the thought that Buffy was alive, Giles feared what he might find when he saw the Slayer. Dawn had as much as said she was not herself.

He stepped out of the car and approached the dwelling. Just before he reached it Dawn stepped outside. Seeing him, she ran and threw herself into his arms, sobbing mumbling about blood and dreams and death and life so fast he couldn't make sense of it. For once in his life, Giles decided not to even try to; instead he simply held onto the girl for dear life.

"I've been so worried...are you alright?" he asked when she'd finally calmed down enough to talk. Dawn nodded.

"I'm fine...it's Buffy...I know you think I did the wrong thing..."

"I don't know what to think. I know you took a frightful risk," Giles acknowledged.

"I had to...she was calling me...I had to find her. I had to save her, like she saved me."

"But...?"

"She won't talk, not to anyone. And she keeps having these dreams and waking up screaming. Giles, you have to help her!" Without further ado Dawn grabbed hold of Giles' hand and practically dragged him inside.

"Buffy? Buffy, Giles is here. He's come to take us h-home," Dawn said, her voice cracking on the final word. Buffy sat at the edge of a cot, a blanket draped across her shoulders, her hair limp and sweaty against her forehead. Giles was simultaneously overjoyed by the sight of her and appalled by the haunted look in her eyes. She looked at him, but Giles had the sense she didn't see him.

"Buffy? Can you hear me?" he asked softly. Buffy flinched as if about to be struck, and both Dawn and Giles instinctively took a step back. After a moment he tried again. "Buffy, it's Giles. You're safe, Buffy. We're taking you back to Sunnydale."

"Everyone's going to be so happy to see you, Buffy," Dawn added softly.

"Y-yes, of course," Giles agreed, feeling momentarily guilty for the situation he had left so abruptly. "Your friends are going to be thrilled, Buffy. We've missed you terribly, all of us."

"Friends..." Buffy said, the word coming out slightly slurred. Dawn gasped, then leaned in hopefully.

"Yes, your friends need you, Buffy," Giles encouraged.

What happened next was shocking in both its suddenness and almost anticlimactic nature. Buffy's eyes simply snapped back into focus. She looked around her, blinked a few times, and favored Giles and Dawn with a grim smile.

"Dawnie," she said, holding out her arms, and Dawn fell into them crying, burying her face on her sister's shoulder. "It's okay, Dawnie. Are you okay?"

"Are you kidding? I've got you back. You're sure you're okay?" Dawn sniffled, "Really okay?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. Shhh, it's alright," Buffy soothed. She looked up at Giles, her expression troubled.

"Giles, what's happening to Willow?"

***************************

Buffybot's programming was sounding a constant, strong alarm that pierced through its mass of wires like a series of constant electrical shocks. It needed to return to Spike. It had needed to return to Spike for exactly ten hours, sixteen minutes, forty-two point seven zero three five seconds. Technically it should have stopped functioning by now; the alarm was designed to disable it if it malfunctioned or ran counter to its programming. Up until now it had been unaware that it was even possible to ignore its programming. After all, it was only a machine, designed to perform functions, only as good as Warren, the Maker, had made it. Buffybot didn't quite realize it, but in transcending its programming it had achieved something its maker had never conceived was possible. Buffybot was no longer an it. Buffybot was a she. And she was possessed by one thought and one thought alone. She was inadequate. Spike didn't love her.

Buffybot knew she loved Spike because she had been programmed to do so, but that didn't change the fact that she did love him, wholly and completely. Therefore she was returning herself to the Maker for enhancements. There had to be a way to make her the real Buffy, despite what Spike had said.

But the Maker wasn't home. Warren's mother had said he had taken off for 'school' again...Buffybot had searched her databanks and come up with school for Dawn, Willow, Tara and even herself, but no reference for Warren. So she had begun going from school to school in Sunnydale, searching for him. She was now walking across the UC-Sunnydale campus, determined but beginning to tire. It had been a long time since her last recharge, and violating her programming seemed to be draining her more quickly than usual. Looking up she saw someone that was in her databanks.

//ACCESSING ...WILLOW ROSENBERG ... BEST FRIEND ... GAY (1999-PRESENT) ... WITCH ... GOOD WITH COMPUTERS//

Buffybot frowned. Spike had insisted she should never let any of her friends see her. It was very important to him. On the other hand, Willow Rosenberg was good with computers, and was her best friend. Perhaps she could explain what Buffybot was doing wrong. Perhaps she could repair her functions to make her Buffy so that Spike would love her. She walked over to her and smiled brightly.

"Hello, Willow," Buffybot said politely. Willow looked at her and blinked sluggishly.

"Buffy?" she asked. "Aren't you dead?"

"I am not the real Buffy Summers. I belong to Spike," Buffybot answered in that same cheery tone. "I need your help, Willow." Willow stared at the bot for a second, then started to laugh. Small chuckles at first, gradually becoming hysterical giggles that practically made her collapse. Tears were streaming down her face. Buffybot was laughing as well, although the humor had escaped her. Perhaps this joke was not in her programming; in any case she knew that laughing at humor was appropriate. Willow stopped laughing as suddenly as she had started. She grabbed hold of Buffybot's arms and stared into her face.

"Get me out of here," she cried in anguish. "There's no color there, and the sounds hurt my heart...the silver lady calls me, but I can't grow in that barren land...I don't want to fall, Buffy. Don't let me fall..."

"You are in need of rescue? I sense no vampires," Buffybot said, her head cocked to one side.

"Don't let me fall...don't let me fall..."

"Willow, do you need service?" Buffybot asked. Her best friend unfortunately seemed to be broken. Buffybot swept the weeping girl into her arms. "I will take you to someplace safe. I do not know if Warren can help you, but when I find him I will see." 

***************************

Xander had left right after Willow did, and had originally made a beeline for campus. However, a glimpse of red hair turning down a side street had sent him on an unfortunate wild goose chase. When he'd finally caught up with the girl she'd born only a passing resemblance to his friend, and Xander could kick himself for wasting so much valuable time. At that point he had been only a few blocks from the Rosenbergs' house, so he had decided to check there first. There was no sign that his friend had been home in quite some time; calls to her dorm and to the emergency beepers she and Tara wore went unanswered. 

Finally he had arrived at her dorm room, fully intending to knock the door down if he had to. Of course, he didn't know if he could actually do that...but if Willow needed him to he'd find a way. When he got there he saw that the question was moot. The door was hanging ajar, filling him with even more trepidation. His dread grew even greater when he saw the state of the room. It looked like it had been ransacked. 

*No, worse, vandalized,* he amended, freezing when he saw the stuffed animal she had left almost shredded on the floor. He picked it up, holding its head back on its body, his eyes wide with fear. 

It had been a blue elephant, smiling almost enigmatically. He had won it for Willow at the St. Lucy's Winter Carnival some...what...eight years ago? Jesse had been laughing at how hard he worked at winning it, and to be honest he had been trying to catch the eye of Harmony Kendall at the time. Xander shuddered at that unhappy memory. But it had been Willow who squealed with delight at his victory, and to Willow went the spoils. He could still remember the light in her eyes... 

The mangled elephant spoke more eloquently of how badly Willow needed help than anything else he had seen. Xander stood there holding it together as if somehow he could put Willow right that way. He felt totally helpless. How could he help her if he couldn't even find her? And what would he do if he did find her?

He was almost out the door when he heard the sound from the closet. It was muffled, but it was definitely a cry for help. A female cry for help. Xander reached the door in three gigantic steps and ripped the door open. There was a girl he didn't recognize huddled on the floor of Willow's closet. Her tear-stained face was hidden by her long hair, which was tangled around her face in hopeless knots. Her legs were completely bare, and she seemed to only be wearing Willow's hot pink rain slicker. Her arms were wrapped around her knees as she shivered with cold and fright. Xander gaped down at her and she looked up at him pleadingly. A shock of recognition went through him.

"Amy?"

***************************

Feedback is always appreciated.


	8. Homing

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. You know the drill.

***********************************

Chapter Eight - Homing

Buffybot put Willow down gently on the grass, her electronic brain working harder than it ever had before, but still coming up blank. She had no information in her databanks to account for the girl's strange system failure. Her programming only contained things she should do for Spike if he malfunctioned, and getting the girl out of the sunlight had had no real effect. Buffybot frowned. She wanted to take Willow and return to Spike. Spike was smart and would know what to do. He surely would know what kind of service Willow required. But she wasn't supposed to let Willow see her; Spike would be angry if he saw Willow at his crypt and knew she had brought her there. Finding Warren seemed still the best option to Buffybot, but she hadn't had any success. She was moving more than a bit sluggishly now, the drain on her batteries happening even faster from carrying her best friend around. Willow occasionally struggled against her, not seeming to even recognize her anymore. Buffybot knew she couldn't continue this way and made a decision.

"Willow, I am sorry, but I must leave you here. I must find Warren. I will bring him to you. He will know what kind of service you require," she said, awaiting a reply. Receiving none, she pivoted sharply and left the frightened, whimpering girl huddled in a ball, a tree shading her from the late afternoon sun. Buffybot trudged on, beginning to stagger slightly but valiantly determined to help Willow and herself. Unfortunately she only got a few hundred feet before her systems began to fail, her battery too low for her to continue functioning. Her optic sensors went first, and she stumbled, falling head down a sewer trench. Buffybot landed hard, shattering her shoulder joint and rolling several times before finally coming to a stop. Unable to move, she lay there, blinking more and more slowly, until her power drained completely.

"I'm sorry, Spike...I luuuuuuuuuuuuu..." The whirring of the bot stopped a moment later, and Buffybot lay with her eyes open and unseeing, whatever hope she held in her heart awaiting rescue to be rekindled.

Meanwhile, Willow had clasped her hands around her knees and had begun rocking herself compulsively. She no longer knew where or even who she was; her mind knew only of Tara and the silver lady. Her love and her...Willow frowned. She didn`t know who or what the lady was to her. She didn't know why the lady wanted Willow so badly, but she knew she was in danger now that she was alone. The silver lady wanted to make her do bad things, like attack people like she'd attacked Anya. Deep down there was still some part of Willow that was actually Willow, though she no longer knew her name as such; that Willowy part of her cried out against this evil, against hurting anyone. But it was weak and growing weaker and she knew that the silver lady could make her do anything, bad things...and she was powerless to stop her. That small part of her was slipping further and further away; soon there would be nothing of her left. She moaned as Ostara appeared before her, smiling down.

"Don't...d-don't..." Willow stammered.

"Dear child, I'm not going to hurt you...it's going to be alright. Your little attack on Anyanka has created just the distraction I needed to keep the others from helping her or themselves...at least until it's too late. You will help me still...but you're not really dressed for distraction, are you? Come," she commanded, and Willow stood, her eyes darting about anxiously. After a moment the redhead began to giggle, and Ostara briefly joined in her laughter. "Oh, you are sinking fast, dear child. It is quite a glorious coincidence, but one of which I am prepared to take full advantage. You will keep them all occupied...and Cas will do the rest."

***************

"Giles!" Xander yelled, practically yanking Amy off her feet as he dragged her into the Magic Box. Several customers backed away from them as he barreled over to the register.

"Xander, stop scaring the customers!" Anya admonished, then stared at the twitchy blonde stranger her ex was holding hands with curiously. The girl's face was grimy and her hair matted, and she was wearing a long patchwork skirt and a pink tank top that didn't seem to fit her quite right. Anya pursed her lips with distaste, then considered her for a moment longer, puzzled. The outfit seemed oddly familiar.

"Anya, where's Giles?" Xander asked desperately. Anya shrugged, lowering her voice and hoping he'd follow her lead.

"Dawn called. He left. I guess he went to get her from wherever she is," Anya said. To her surprise, rather than be excited that Dawn had been found, Xander slammed his fist down on the counter in frustration.

"Damn!" he half-yelled, causing more customers to move further away from him. The girl had started to wring her hands in her still-knotted hair.

"Xander?" the recently deratted Amy sniffed, clearly frightened out of her mind, and he immediately went to soothe her, patting her arm comfortingly as he pointed to Anya. 

"It's okay. Everything's going to be alright. This is Anya, she's my friend. She won't hurt you, I promise." Seeing Cas emerge from the back, he pointed. "And that's another friend, Cas. They're going to help us help Will."

"Xander, who-?" Anya began, but he cut her off urgently. 

"Where's Tara? Has she gone to the-"

"I'm right here," Tara said as she ran breathlessly into the Magic Box, stopping with concern when she saw Amy. She looked at the girl suspiciously. "Those are Willow's clothes," she said immediately, and Anya hit herself on the head.

"I knew it! I knew that outfit looked familiar...who are you?" Anya demanded. Amy shrunk against Xander's arm.

"Don't yell at her," Xander commanded. "It's Amy."

"Amy...the rat Amy? But how-" Anya stammered.

"Willow did it," Amy whispered. "She changed me back...and then she...she..."

"She went a little nuts," Xander offered, the words feeling strange and bitter in his mouth. 

"Yeah," Amy said, "but she warned me first...and she told me why." Amy looked at Tara, recognizing her from the picture Willow had showed her frantically during those last lucid seconds. "She wanted you to know..."

"It's happening because of that spell she did," Tara said. "The spell to try to help me. She couldn't reverse it, and now I'm fine and she's losing her mind."

"That's right," Amy nodded, "but that's not what she told me to tell you. I mean, she told me to tell you that, but she wanted me to tell you she loves you so much. And she's really sorry. And she understands that she has to be stopped. And you should d-do what's necessary." Xander gaped at Amy for a moment. She hadn't told him that part, and it hit him like a fist to his stomach.

"What does that mean?" Xander asked, and they all looked at him. They had never heard that voice from him before, strained and shaking with emotion.

"It means," Tara said, as tear began to course down her cheeks, "she might become more violent...she doesn't want to hurt anyone, so she wants us to...to..."

"We aren't going to hurt Will," Xander said in that same strange voice. "I don't care what she might do...Tara, there has to be a way to help her get her mind back, right. The spell can be reversed, Willow just didn't find it. So we research. We find it."

"Xander-" Tara began gently, but he talked over her, his eyes manic.

"We have two witches here, right? You and Amy, you can cast the spell to save her. Tara, I know you love her...you have to do this." His eyes were so bright and intense they seemed to burn into Tara's flesh. She had to look away.

"I can't, Xander...I went to see someone who knows about this kind of magick. He told me...there's nothing I can do to save Willow. There's nothing Amy can do, either."

"That's what Willow said," Amy said softly, cringing when Xander pulled violently away from her and swept books off the table, startling them all with the sudden violence. He looked back at them, shaking his head, and Anya knew she'd never seen him that lost, not even after Buffy`s death.

"No," Xander moaned, and Tara started to cry in earnest, partially for his pain and partially for her own realization. "It can't be true. Willow's not...I won't accept that. I'll never accept that."

"Xander..." Anya began firmly.

"No!" Xander screamed, and they all took a shocked step back. Undaunted by his emotional outburst, Tara came to him, pulling him into a hug. As soon as her arms enfolded him he broke down in huge, shuddering sobs, He leaned heavily on Tara, as his own legs no longer seemed capable of holding him, and the two of them wept on each other's shoulders for a few moments. Anya, Amy and Cas watched with tear-filled eyes as well, while white-faced customers left the shop unnoticed. Finally Tara spoke, the words as rough was if they were being ripped out of her soul.

"There...might be...a way. But if there is it...it's not me or Amy that can h-help Willow now. Xander, it's you." Xander pulled back in surprise, blinking in confusion and more than a little wariness.

"Me? But I don't do magic...in fact, magic and Xander are two great tastes that taste really, really bad together. Xander plus spells equals major disaster."

"I get it, Xander. But Willow doesn't need a spellcaster. Willow needs someone who really loves her...and who she loves, too."

"Then you-" Xander began, and Tara took his face in both of her hands, needing to look in his eyes when she explained, needing for him to know that she understood.

"Someone she loves more than me." 

The statement stood there for a few moments, filling the room with its own unexpected shifts of emotion. Xander shook his head automatically, but Tara could see that small glimmer of hope in his eyes. She wondered at how something as simple as that look could simultaneously give her a real reason to be optimistic and crush her heart forever.

"She doesn't," Xander said firmly, but Tara nodded, choking down the rest of her tears.

"Yes. She does. She can't help it, Xander. She always has, she always will love you best." Tara released Xander and he sat down, dazed. Anya suddenly turned away, her own memories of accusing Willow of the same thing ringing through her mind. Tara continued, "The thing is, she really doesn't know that she does. That's why she told Amy there was no hope...but I know better. I've seen it in her eyes, in your eyes, so many times."

"You know I never...that we never..." Xander began miserably, his eyes moving quickly from Tara's to Anya's. Both women nodded.

"I know," Tara said, almost smiling. "It meant a lot, you know. For you to accept me, and let me love her."

"I know, too. I always knew it, Xander. I accused her of wanting to break us up, of still having feelings for you, remember? I always thought she was a bit too glib...but I always knew how you felt. I mean, a girl knows."

"Anya, I...I don't know what to say..."

"Just don't deny it anymore," Anya offered, her lip trembling slightly. Cas took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. He didn't really understand what was happening here, exactly, but he knew it was hard for Anya. He frowned as something seemed to whistle past his ear, and moved away for a moment, behind the calendar. Cas was listening intently, but no longer to his friends but to something quite different.

"I won't. I can't. Not anymore." Xander looked squarely at Tara, all the love he had for Willow shining in his eyes. "I've been afraid, and I've been hurt, and I haven't wanted to...I thought what Willow needed was for me to put my feelings away and pretend that I didn't...I mean, she made it clear that you were the one she wanted to be with, not me. But I can't do that anymore. Not when Willow needs me to love her, then...just tell me what I have to do." 

Tara nodded and began the explanation. Engrossed in hearing it, not even Anya noticed Cas vanish. He popped up again in the back of the shop, startled not by who was waiting for him there but by how she had summoned him.

"What...Mistress?" he asked, confused. Ostara smiled coldly at him.

"Yes, Cas. I needed you here. It is almost time for you to perform that one small service."

"Oh. Good," he said distractedly, worried that Anya would notice he was no longer beside her. "What do you need me to do?"

"This..." Ostara hissed, touching his forehead. Images flooded Cas' mind and he recoiled in revulsion.

"No..." he moaned. "I can't...I won't!"

"You can. You will. You have no choice." Ostara stated calmly. And a moment later Cas realized to his horror that she was right.

***************************

"Stop!"

Buffy's scream made Giles reflexively slam on the brakes, almost throwing Dawn into the front seat. The Slayer was out of the car and running before he could catch his breath.

"Buffy!" Dawn screamed out the window as Giles pulled over. By the time the other two had gotten out of the car, there was no sign of the Slayer anywhere. Dawn looked at Giles desperately.

"Where did she go?"

"I'm not sure...she must have seen something. It's after dark, perhaps...a vampire?"

"You think she went off to go slaying?" Dawn asked incredulously. Giles shrugged, his face concerned but thoughtful.

"I think she's still not quite herself. There's no telling...still, I'm certain she'll return to the shop when she's ready, Dawn."

"I think we should look for her," the teen said, becoming more distraught by the second. "She probably needs help." As if to punctuate her point, they both heard a yell and sounds of a struggle in the darkness. Giles grabbed crosses and stakes from his glove compartment and the two took off towards the sounds.

***************************

Feedback is always appreciated.


	9. Predator Meet Prey

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. You know the drill.

***********************************

Chapter Nine - Predator Meets Prey

Buffy fought hard but her attacker had her pinned. He had caught her off-guard, as it wasn't vampires she had been running after, but Willow. She was sure she'd seen the redhead walking through the graveyard mere moments ago. The longer she struggled with this vampire, the less likely she was going to be able to pick up her friend's trail. Buffy froze in disbelief when her attacker began poking her hard in the back, speaking in frustrated tones.

"Quit fighting me, you silly bint! Shoulda known you weren't working right. Where the hell is the damn off switch?" Buffy renewed her efforts and tossed the vampire on to his back. She flipped herself to her feet and looked down at him, eyes blazing.

"What the hell is going on, Spike?" To her surprise, the vampire just grinned.

"Lord, that's good. That's the best you've done yet...I almost believe you're actually her." Understanding dawned in Buffy's eyes, followed a moment later by disgust.

"I can't believe it. You repaired the robot?" she shrieked. Before Spike could recover himself, Buffy shook her head. "Never mind. I don't want to hear it. Which way did Willow go?"

"What?" Spike asked, dazed. "You're...you're saying you're...it can't be."

"I don't have time for this..." Buffy growled. "Willow. Did you see her?" Spike nodded, still reeling. "Which way did she go?"

Spike pointed mutely, and Buffy took off running again. A moment later Giles and Dawn came running up.

"Spike?" Giles asked doubtfully, the blank expression on the vampire's face quite unlike any he'd ever seen there before. A vampire in shock just wasn't something one saw everyday.

"Spike!" Dawn cried joyfully. "Did you see Buffy?"

Spike wordlessly pointed in the same direction, and Giles and Dawn dashed after the Slayer. Spike closed his eyes and took a deep unneeded breath that turned into a sob.

"She's alive," he murmured, still not quite believing it. "Buffy's alive." A sudden jolt ran through him and he jumped to his feet. "Buffy's alive and you just let her run off, you wanker!" he reproached himself as he took off running in the same direction.

***************************

Willow was humming and dancing as she reached the edge of the graveyard. She wandered up onto the street and began to do a strange half-skip step down the sidewalk. Suddenly a shadow blocked her path, and she looked up with a frown.

"You ruined my dance," she said. The youth who had stepped in front of her, a hulking football player from the UC-Sunnydale squad, smiled down at the girl.

"Sorry, beautiful," he said, his eyes grazing her body lustfully. Ostara had wanted to make certain Willow was noticed, and had conjured her into an outfit that was not dissimilar to the one she had worn one infamous Halloween. The main difference was the skirt of this outfit was long, down to her ankles, but slit on both sides all the way up to the top of her thighs. The bustier, skirt and boots were all jet black, emphasizing the pallor of her skin. Her hair was in tangles, but this only made her look more alluring, like she had recently tumbled out of bed. "Let me make it up to you."

"Will there be dancing?" Willow asked, grabbing his hand as it reached for her and tracing a pattern on his palm. Mistaking her strange behavior for heavy flirting, the jock smiled.

"Whatever you want, baby," he said, leaning in closer. "I'm Josh, by the way. I didn't catch your name." Willow looked up at him and smiled.

"Whatever you want," she echoed languidly, and Josh wasted no time steering her towards the Bronze. He didn't know what he had done to get this lucky, but he certainly wasn't going to complain. First he'd dance with her at the Bronze, just to make all his buddies jealous, then they'd get down to dancing of the horizontal kind. Willow laughed, and Josh laughed along, not sure what was so funny, but happy to laugh with her just the same. They vanished around the corner seconds before Buffy arrived on the street, looking around in frantic desperation.

"Willow!" she shouted, but received no answer. She threw up her hands in frustration, pacing up and down the walk until Giles, Dawn and Spike emerged. She immediately turned to Giles.

"I saw her, Giles! Willow! She was here. She was right here!" Buffy was overcome, and the three of them eyed her nervously. Rarely had they seen her get this upset.

"Ah, I think we should return to the Magic Box," Giles said finally. "The others don't know that you're...back...Buffy, and they might have an idea where Willow was headed."

"Okay," Buffy said nervously. "But I hope Xander's there. We've got to keep him away from her."

"Whatever for?" Spike asked softly, still marveling at the fact that he was talking to her again. She glared at him.

"You!" she spit. "Find Willow. It's your fault I lost her. And you'd better do something about your robot girlfriend, too, or I will." She relented slightly at his hurt expression, and added softly. "I had a vision...Willow's going to kill Xander if we can't stop her. And there's something else, some other kind of threat..." Buffy's eyes clouded and she seemed no longer aware of the other's presence. Dawn's concerned hand on her arm brought her back to the present.

"Let's go," Dawn said softly. She and Giles gently stirred Buffy back towards the car.

"I'll find your witch for you. And if I see the whelp, I'll keep him away from her," Spike called after them, wincing at the sound of his voice. *Back to being the Slayer's lapdog,* he thought. *Not like I ever really stopped, was it?* Spike turned and headed into the darkness, following a trail that only a vampire could, noting that something about the witch felt a bit off. And that she most definitely wasn't alone.

*************************

The cave reminded him of something...something old, almost ancient. Another cave, another fire, another sacrifice. He shouldn't have that memory, but he did. Thanks to her, he was reliving the past, using dark magicks never-transcribed and long-forgotten, reaching out to them, bending their will to his own. Correction, to his own. He was only the vessel, created to be used. He understood that now. He understood everything now. And while part of him cried out in protest as his mouth formed the ancient commands and his hands traced the forbidden symbols, another part of him couldn't resist the exhilarating feeling of the power as it filled him. He heard the rustling and whispering that surrounded him quiet, and when Cas Harvey spoke, those he spoke to had no choice but to hear and obey.

"We honor our mother by reclaiming this land for her glory. Sunnydale will be our garden, and Ostara will govern over all. Go forth, my brethren. The power of Ostara is upon you, and none shall be able to stand against you, not man nor demon. Those who try shall perish, and their blood will salt our earth. Our mother must be avenged, the wicked must be punished. I will lead you to Anyanka and..." Cas swallowed, the words sticking in his throat momentarily, "and your force will make her pay. Make her bleed. She will be the first!"

As one, Ostara's army turned and proceeded from the cave, their numbers swelling as the magic reached out towards all corners of the woods and more and more joined them from all different directions. Sunnydale had faced many horrors over centuries, but none they had faced till now could prepare them for this menace. They covered the roads and passages like a huge moving blanket, their teeth and eyes glistening with magic. The first people to see them reacted first with wonder and even laughter, then nonplussed astonishment, then finally terror. Those who escaped that first onslaught would later wake up screaming from nightmares about something that they would never adequately be able to explain to anyone who hadn't been there. The horror of watching creatures that seemed so harmless bring such unimaginable carnage.

The bunnies decimated all life in their path. Sunnydale would never find them cute again.

***************************

"He wouldn't just leave! Not in the middle of all this!" Anya wailed anxiously. As Tara had filled Xander in about what the warlock had told her about Willow's condition, Anya had realized that Cas was missing. She had searched the shop for him and found no trace, and now she was near panic. Amy was ostensibly helping her look, but the skittish girl was mostly just jumping when Anya spoke too loudly.

"But w-we've looked everywhere," Amy said faltering. "H-he's not h-here."

"I know he's not here," Anya snapped. "Someone must have taken him...oh my God! Some demon's got Cas and he's gonna die!" Tara came over to her and lay a calming hand on her arm.

"I just did a locator spell for Xander...he's on his way to Willow," Tara said. Anya started, she hadn't even noticed her ex-boyfriend leave. "I can do one for you to find Cas." Anya's eyes shone at Tara's offer, but before she could accept The Magic Box door was slammed open and Dawn entered.

"Oh my God, Dawnie!" Tara cried, enveloping the girl in a hug. Anya was distracted by the two people who had come in behind Dawn. Giles was expected, of course, but...

"Xander said she was dead," Amy muttered, her eyes open wide in shock. Her nose twitched rapidly. "She doesn't look dead...or smell dead, either."

"She was dead last time I checked, but this is Sunnydale. Things don't always stay dead around here," Anya shrugged. Buffy's eyes were searching the room frantically, and clearly she wasn't finding that for which she was hoping.

"Goddess," Tara softly swore as she realized Buffy was there. "Buffy..."

"Where's Xander?" Buffy demanded.

"He just left...to go find Willow...Buffy, you're alive?" Tara exclaimed joyously, moving to hug her friend, who adroitly stepped back. Tara stopped, faltering at Buffy's intensely focused expression. It was almost as if she couldn't even see the rest of them.

"I brought her back," Dawn said wearily. "She's okay, really, she's just freaking over Willow-"

"Xander left how long ago?" Buffy asked, acting as if her sister hadn't even spoken. Tara frowned as she noticed she wasn't wearing her watch.

"It hasn't been long..." she said, growing more alarmed by the minute at Buffy's visible frustration.

"Ten, maybe fifteen minutes, I think," Amy murmured, twitching noticeably when their attention turned to her. Tara put a quick comforting arm around the girl. Buffy nodded, grabbed a sword from behind the counter and ran from the shop.

"Buffy!" Dawn called after her, to no avail. "Wait," she finished sadly. "Giles," the girl moaned quietly, but the Watcher was still staring at the recently deratted witch.

"Amy? Is that you?" Giles asked softly. The girl nodded, and he looked to Tara questioningly.

"Willow," Tara said simply. Anya grabbed Giles' arm, frustrated that her problem was no longer receiving attention.

"Giles, Cas has disappeared...and no, not like his little vanishing tricks. Something's happened to him, I can feel it."

"Anyanka has feelings? How very new and different. And might I add, delicious." The voice caused them all to jump. Out of nowhere a glistening silver lady had appeared, half-floating like some kind of fairy made of ice. She was beautiful, but so cold and cruel that they all instinctively moved away from her. Giles automatically pushed Dawn behind him, trying to make sure it was he that faced the stranger. Anya peaked out from behind Giles as well, as Amy cringed against Tara's shoulder. "I hope one of them is pain."

Anya gasped and clutched Giles' shoulder tighter. Amy whimpered.

"Who are you? And what do you want with Anya?" Giles demanded. The woman smiled chillingly.

"Anyanka knows, don't you dear?" she asked the frightened former demon. Anya appeared to be trying hard to remember something. She swayed in shocked recollection when it finally clicked for her.

"N-no, you c-can't be..." she stammered. "I wished you gone."

"Yes, you did. I spent a millennia in oblivion. Do you have any idea how unpleasant that can be?" The woman laughed, the sound of discordant bells. "Well, the important thing is I'm back. Back to finish what I started. And guess what, dear? I'll be beginning with you."

***************************

Feedback is always appreciated.


	10. Evolutionary

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. You know the drill.

***********************************

Chapter Ten - Evolutionary

Buffy picked up Xander's trail relatively quickly, and was about to call out to him when she saw him freeze. He stopped and bowed his head, seeming to Buffy to be deep in prayer. She had never seen him pray before, but then things had changed...Buffy stared in wonder as Xander lifted his head and began to walk. She began to speculate that perhaps the prayer was some kind of spell, because Xander was picking up speed and walking almost normally, despite never having opened his eyes.

"Okay, that's different," Buffy said, following at a distance. She had decided it might be dangerous to startle her friend out of whatever trance he was now in. She heard someone behind her scream and turned, on her guard, only to feel something brush up against her leg. Buffy looked down as a long-eared rabbit hopped past. "Aww! That's...what the hell?" she finished as several rabbits also hopped past her and she heard an explosion of screams. She heard people running, and saw hundreds of rabbits hopping everywhere, jumping on top of people and actually bringing them down. 

"Oh yeah, I'm back in Sunnydale," Buffy muttered dazedly as several of the furry creatures launched themselves at her. She threw those off with a grunt of distaste, but more quickly took their place. Buffy was surprised to find herself momentarily panicking. She knew with sudden certainty that this was the threat she had seen in her visions, and was shocked by the fear that overtook her. She started to run after Xander, but stumbled and sprawled face forward. With a groan she rolled onto her back to flip herself back onto her feet, but in that instant they covered her, and she smelled her own blood. "I think I finally get Anya," she thought as she felt herself begin to lose consciousness.

*********

"Anya?" Giles grabbed the girl's shoulders, concerned. His normally unflappable employee had turned into a pale, frightened child. She was trembling, obviously in shock, and didn't respond to his prodding. He turned angrily to the threatening apparition. "What have you done to her?"

"Nothing yet. But she knows I will, don't you, Anyanka...you remember..."

*********

NEARLY A MILLENNIUM AGO, JUST OUTSIDE THE QUAINT (A.N.: and to the best of my knowledge, fictional) MEDIEVAL VILLAGE OF BEREG...

"Unhand me, woman," Tev said, wincing at the sound of his guttural native tongue, so unlike the melodious language of the goddess he now served. His wife Ola only clung tighter, so he drew back his hand. The blow sent her to the ground.

"How could you?" Ola moaned. "You've destroyed the village."

"It is of no consequence."

"It was our village. Those people were our neighbors!"

"They were tainted. The goddess demanded a sacrifice."

"Ostara demands too much," Ola said bitterly, and Tev raised his hand in anger again. Yet this time he simply rubbed his fingers together, allowing the goddess' magic to cause a small crackle of lightening that made his wife wince.

"You dare speak her name? I should strike you dead where you sit!" he spat. Ola sagged to the floor covering her face in her hands. She looked up at him hopelessly.

"If you struck me dead you could not hurt me more. My bed is cold."

For the briefest of seconds Ola saw Tev's gaze soften, and she was reminded of the man she to who she had been wed. The man she had grown to love with amazing passion, before he was chosen to serve the goddess Ostara. She saw him draw himself up regally, and the moment of recognition was over.

"I must remain pure, to serve..."

"Then serve your goddess away from my house," Ola said angrily. "Away from our children and away from me. Go, Tev. Leave us be."

He gazed down at her for a moment, then turned and left. Ola wept desolate tears alone in her dwelling. Who would provide for them now? And even worse, what evil would her husband do in the name of his beloved goddess? Already he had wrought great destruction in her name...

"Stop weeping and rise, woman," a strange gravely voice instructed. Ola looked up and saw a strange woman standing before her, her dark hair down to her ankles, her strange shapeless garments giving her the air of a penitent with the exception of the magnificent glowing necklace she wore.

"Who are you?" Ola asked fearfully. "Why have you come here?"

"You summoned me. Your grief...your pain...," the woman's eyes glittered unpleasantly as she smiled, "you have been wronged."

"I...my husband...he has left me."

"For another woman?" the woman asked, and Ola just burst into tears. Her strange visitor huffed in annoyance.

"Just tell me where you want the boils and we can get on with this."

"Boils?" Ola sniffed. "I don't want boils...who are you?"

"Anyanka. Patron Saint of Scorned Women. You have not heard of me...distressing. Though I'm even now fairly new, still I would have thought...nevermind. It matters little. Tell me how you want your husband to suffer."

*********

"Your wife moves against you." Tev had been prostrating himself before his goddess; now he looked up at her in genuine surprise.

"Moves against me?" he repeated in confusion. Ostara frowned at his lack of understanding. Tev was devoted but not terribly bright.

"She is using magicks to try to hurt you. To try to harm me." Ostara might have found his deepening shock amusing if she had been in a better mood. Her knowledge of this matter was imperfect, an annoying development that convinced her more than anything that this situation was somehow dangerous for her.

"She is merely a woman, and has no power, my goddess. What can she possibly do?" Tev asked arrogantly. Ostara found herself unable to answer that question at first. It seemed that the woman could do nothing, but her intuition was screaming otherwise.

"She threatens us," she finally said simply. "You must destroy her."

"I do not see how that is possible," protested her high priest, and now it was Ostara's turn to be shocked. She glowered at the man.

"You question me?"

Tev paled, sensing that he had gone too far.

"No, no my goddess. If it is your wish..."

"It is. Send my armies forth. Destroy the woman."

Moving to the fire, Tev muttered the incantation. The flame rose and issued forth smoke that was pink, then black, then blood red. He smiled grimly.

"It is done."

*********

"I do not understand." 

"Make a wish. Whatever you wish will come to be, and you will be avenged."

"Avenged?" Ola repeated dully, and Anyanka stomped her foot in frustration.

"Just...wish something!"

"But I want nothing...I just want my husband back."

"Then wish that your husband returns to you, you cretin!" Anyanka hissed, not even pretending to be patient.

"But I cannot ken what he has done...the destruction wreaked in her name."

"Destruction?" Now it was Anyanka's turn to repeat things stupidly. She hadn't been at the vengeance demon thing long, but this was new, and she sensed not of the good.

"The foul creatures that have defiled the village, bringing death to all who attempted to oppose them. My husband's magicks summoned them...but he is only a tool. For her."

"For his mistress?" Anyanka asked weakly. Ola snorted.

"For his goddess. Ostara," she spat.

"O...Ostara...Oh. Oh! No no no! It cannot be! D'Hoffryn!" Anyanka cried in a high-pitched whine.

"What is wrong?" Ola asked nervously.

"D'Hoffryn! I need you!" Anyanka wailed, and her mentor appeared in a flash. Ola screamed and covered her face as Anyanka prostrated before him. He shook his head.

"Anyanka...why do you summon me? You know the rules. You chose this woman's pain," he chided her, shaking his head. 

"But..." the fledgling vengeance demon attempted to protest, but he held up his hand for her silence.

"You must finish what you have begun here. Do not bother me again." Unexpectedly D'Hoffryn clucked in amusement, saying only one more word that neither woman understood before vanishing in another flash of flame. "Rookie."

"Please, I will do anything you wish, but do not summon your demon against me again!" a trembling Ola said, stretching her hands in supplication.

"Oh, be quiet and let me think!" Anyanka said, trembling with fear and growing rage. Ola's eyes widened suddenly, and Anyanka fought to keep from shaking apart. There was a palpable sense of doom descending over the hut.

"He did it. He sent them!" Ola cried hysterically, folding her arms around herself. "We will die here."

"What are you talking about?" Anyanka snapped.

"The minions of the goddess. Do you not hear it?" Ola screamed, and at that moment the demon did. A strange kind of tromping sound, like a million light footsteps.

"What is that?" Anyanka asked, a second before the bunnies were upon them. 

*********

"What is that?" Dawn asked tremulously. They all felt the vibrations, and while Ostara chuckled, the sound like ice clinking in a metal tumbler, Giles wandered to the window. 

"Oh dear," Giles choked, hardly even sounding like himself. Then a hysterical giggle burst forth, frightening the women in the shop even more.

"Giles, what is it?" Dawn almost shrieked.

"It's the bunnies," Anya replied in a dull voice. "They've come to kill us all."

"That's insane," Amy said, giving Giles a pleading look. He shook his head in wonder.

"Ah, yes, I believe that those are rabbits. In the street. Thousands of them...covered in blood," he said slowly, as if unable to believe his own words. Then his eyes narrowed. "I read about this...of course! Over a thousand years ago, a village was beset...I should have remembered."

"You all should have remembered," Ostara hissed. "But you did not, thanks to Anyanka..."

"I only granted a wish, as was my right and duty as a vengeance demon, you old hag," Anya retorted, sudden anger stirring her out of her shocked daze.

"You still have no idea what you did, do you?" Ostara nearly screamed.

"If you had just let your follower boink his wife once in a while, I wouldn't have been in the picture at all!"

"Can we get back to the killer rabbits for a second?" Amy suddenly snapped, causing all of them to look at her. She colored in embarrassment, adding, "Sorry, I have some rodent death issues, I guess."

"Yes, of course, quite right..." Giles said. "We need to get weapons." He turned to Tara. "And we're going to need spells. Are you well enough to-"

"I am for now," Tara said, uncharacteristically interrupting. She spoke rapidly, as if not sure she'd have time to finish speaking. "If Xander finds Willow, reverses her spell, them I'm going to be pretty much useless. But maybe Amy can..."

"I can help," Amy said. Dawn touched Tara's arm, whispering in her ear. Tara nodded and moved nonchalantly towards Amy, giving the girl a comforting hug while murmuring something below hearing. Giles sighed heavily, eyes drawn to the moving carpet outside again. 

"I'm afraid we'll just have to take a chance that Xander will be delayed in finding Willow..."

"If he isn't eaten by the bunnies first," Anya said glumly. That statement caught everyone off guard. Tara's hand flew to her mouth.

"Oh Goddess, Willow's out there too!"

"And Buffy!" Dawn added tightly.

*********

"I don't care how cute you are, you're so gonna die!" Buffy cried as she struggled to her feet. For one sickening moment she hadn't been sure what way was up, but now she had her bearings. And a plan. "Normally, I'd be all about the slaying of you, you little...fuzz balls. But I've got two friends to rescue and an elsewhere to be. So..." She took a deep breath and steeled herself. They leapt for her...but she was already gone. The fluffy menace did not puzzle or ponder over this new development, but continued on to find easier prey.

**********

"Oh, Buffy's the Slayer," Anya retorted angrily. "If anyone can survive that cotton-tail Hell, it's her. And Willow's magic can protect her, if she can stop being insane long enough to..." Her eyes widened suddenly. "Cas! That's what happened to him! You horrible...your bunnies ate my boyfriend! If I had my powers right now, you wouldn't just go away for a thousand years..." She trailed off as Ostara nearly doubled over in laughter.

"Oh, you are delicious, Anyanka. And incredibly stupid. Cas wasn't eaten by them. He's one of them, don't you see?"

"I don't...what?"

"Cas...is...a...rabbit," Ostara said slowly, as if talking to an idiot. Anya shook her head in horrified denial.

"Of course," Giles said. "There was always something rather...twitchy about him, wasn't there?"

"It can't be," Anya said dully. "He was human, I...he...I don't understand."

"I transformed him, you foolish girl. Told him to court you, and he did quite a job...oh, the poor thing does care for you, but my hold on him is infinitely stronger than pathetic human emotion."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Giles said softly, earning Ostara's attention for a moment. The Watcher's cold smile threw the goddess for a moment. Then she laughed, and he shivered, the moment broken.

"I would so enjoy watching my army tear your flesh asunder, Anyanka. But I have spent enough time on your worthless mortal form as it is."

"Then get going already," Dawn said, her voice edged with bitter steel. "You've done your worst, right. And now you just want to sit back and watch. Well, I don't think you'll be doing it here." With that she grabbed a talisman from the display case under the counter and tossed it in Ostara's direction, making a guttural cry. To the surprise of everyone, including Ostara, the goddess faded from sight. They all looked at Dawn in amazement as she bent to retrieve the small charm.

"Buffy's sister has powers?" Amy stage-whispered to Tara, who shrugged.

"Dawn, h-how...?" Giles stammered. Dawn shrugged sullenly.

"I don't like goddesses," she stated firmly, then held up the charm for his inspection. "Fondeur totem, remember? You looked into them as a possible defense against Glory. Not enough power."

"Yes, of course...but Buffy didn't tell you-"

"Remember how I found out I was the Key?"

"You read my diaries," Giles sniffed. Dawn looked simultaneously proud and chagrined.

"Snuck back in later and finished the job. I needed to know, and Buffy wouldn't tell me."

"Well, I hope that we've got that all settled because in case any one's forgotten any second now we're going to be overrun by man-eating rabbits!" Anya's voice steadily rose until she shrieked the last word.

"And who's fault is that?" Dawn retorted. Tara gently laid a hand on her arm.

"Sweetie, don't take it personally. We're in crisis mode, and she just lost her b-boyfriend." At that Anya burst into tears.

"I could turn us all into rats," Amy offered helpfully.

"No, I think that won't be, er, necessary," Giles said hastily but not unkindly. "I'm certain there's a better plan."

"And I have it," Anya sniffed. "We've got to get to Cas."

"Umm, your once-was-a-rabbit, now-trying-to-kill-us-with-rabbits boyfriend?" Dawn asked sarcastically. Anya opened her mouth to retort, but Giles cut her off with a loud clearing of his throat.

"Anya, you know that I like Cas, very much."

"I'm not saying this just because I lo...just because he's my boyfriend," Anya said slowly, choosing her words with care, which was enough to make Giles pause and listen. "He's her priest. He's the one running this show, channeling her power. We have to make him stop. I think he'll listen to me."

"Yes, well, that may be so. But I fear that Dawn has a point. If Cas was made human by Ostara, there is no reason to believe that he-"

"But there is a reason. There's the best reason. He loves me," Anya said in a small voice. An uncomfortable silence followed for a few moments, then Giles cleared his throat.

"Yes, well...I'm just afraid we have to come up with another plan."

Anya simply stared as Giles began talking about spells to Tara in low tones while Dawn kept a nervous lookout at the rising tide of rabbits, chewing on her bottom lip. The former demon moved closer to Amy, her eyes pleading.

"He does love me," she whispered. "If I can just talk to him, I know I can get him to stop this."

"You really think you can, don't you?" Amy whispered back, seeing the sincerity in the girl's eyes. A spell, long forgotten like so many others, gradually came to the front of her mind. She nodded at Anya. "I think I can help you. I can get you to him, to talk to him. But there's a problem, a kinda big one."

"I don't care. Whatever it is, I'll deal with it."

Amy shook her head doubtfully.

"I don't know, Anya. The problem's that if you're wrong about this, you'll die. And that might just be what our weird silver evil fairy chick is counting on."

*********

Xander opened his eyes and looked up. The Bronze. She was here.

How did he know? He wasn't really sure himself. When he had rushed off to find her, he hadn't had a clue where she had gone, and he had wandered aimlessly for a time. Panic and frustration had made the bile in his throat rise. Then suddenly he had just...stopped. And closed his eyes. And breathed deeply. Whether it was simple desperation or some deeper knowledge, he would never know, but it felt right. He pictured her in his mind, not even realizing he was speaking out loud.

"I'm gonna help you, Will. But first you gotta help me out here. Just tell me where you are."

He had felt something then, a spark, a connection. And then he had just started to walk, his feet moving almost of their own accord. It had felt almost like he was sleepwalking, except that he was aware and alert, just focused. Around him he'd heard the sounds of running feet, sirens, car horns, and even screams that seemed to be getting closer. He had kept his eyes shut tight, lest he lose that tenuous connection, until now.

"I'm coming, Willow," he breathed, entering the club and scanning the smoky air. She was in here somewhere, he knew it. A hand on his arm startled him.

"She reminds me of Dru."

"Spike?" Xander asked in disbelief.

"Red," he said, with a tilt of his head. Xander saw her then. She was dressed in the most un-Willowy outfit possible, some kind of sexy black much-skin-showing costume, and dancing with some kind of big brutish college kid. Actually, as he watched he realized she was dancing more around him than with him. Xander growled as he saw the boy try to pull her to him, but she lightly skipped out of reach. "What's wrong with the chit?"

"She did a spell that...why do you care? And why are you watching her?"

"Slayer told me to watch her, didn't she? Watch her and keep her away from...well, you, actually," Spike answered, then laughed at Xander's puzzlement. "You don't know...Buffy's alive, mate." Xander grabbed the vampire's lapels and shook him in anger.

"That's just...My God! What kind of sick joke do you-"

Xander felt a hand on his arm, and looked into solemn blue eyes he never thought he'd see again. For a moment the world phased out and he thought he was going to faint. Then Buffy's face swam back into focus and he could hear her words.

"Are you okay? Can you hear me, Xander? Breathe."

"Buffy?"

"Present."

He gathered her in a crushing hug, still unable to fully believe that she was real and warm and actually in his arms.

"Oh my God it's really you. This is great. This is so, so, so great..."

"I...I'm sorry, Xander, I want to do this, I really do, but we're in big trouble here." Something in her voice made him let her go, and it was only then that he was able to take in her disheveled bloody appearance.

"Are you okay? And when do I get to kick the ass of whatever did this to you?" Xander asked hotly.

"I'm fine. And you don't. Actually, there are a lot of little tiny asses, and I don't think kicking's gonna do much...I'm still working on what will do, but that's not important. Listen to me, Xan. You've got to go. Get up on the roof, it's safe there, they don't go high. Go now, I'll get Will-"

Screams and exploding glass cut off the Slayer's next words. Several figures came stumbling in to the Bronze. On first glance they looked like strangely lumpy demons, but when they got closer it was clear they were all human. Human beings with rabbits latched onto any and all uncovered skin. Blood poured down their necks, backs and legs in torrents as they collapsed on the ground. Bronze patrons seemed unsure at first whether to laugh or scream, but the latter won out as a wave of the rodents began to spill into the club through openings no one even knew existed, spreading like a strange hopping carpet over the floor. People began to run, often tripping and falling as the rabbits hopped under their feet or launched themselves at them, sinking their teeth in to hold onto their purchase.

"Cor, it's Monty bloody Python," Spike said wonderingly. Buffy and Xander paid little attention to the rodent threat or the vampire's words. Instead their interest was held by a screaming Willow, who turned towards them, her eyes black. Energy began to crackle from her fingertips as she backed away from them. Spike tried to grab Buffy's arm, but she moved out of reach, moving closer to the witch. 

"Willow!" Xander shouted above the rising din. She ignored him, her entire focus on Buffy.

"You...you stay away...the teacups tip their leaves are black...they promise me... you want me to come be dead with you-uuuuuuu!" the witch screeched, ending in a strange giggling keen. She raised her hands over her head.

"Willow, no!" Buffy yelled, running towards the witch, Xander at her heels. Spike looked around at the chaos and grinned.

"This should be interesting," he muttered, just as he was struck from behind.

***************************

Feedback is always appreciated.


	11. Fight or Flight

Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people, demons, creatures, etc. You know the drill.

Chapter Eleven - As Nature Intended

"I think that this might work," Giles said, clearly encouraged by the plan he and Tara had worked out. The witch seemed equally heartened.

"It's going to require a lot of control, but between the three of us I think we should be able to manage it."

"Four of us," Dawn said flatly. At Giles' raised eyebrow, she urged, "I have power, Giles. I brought Buffy back...well, I helped...and I can help here, too. I'm not gonna just sit here!"

"She's right," Tara spoke up quietly. "Three is a better mystical number, but with Dawn helping the spell has a better chance of holding when...if something happens." Dawn's face fell, and Giles found himself moved to touch Tara's arm with gentle affection and more than a little sorrow.

"I know this isn't the time, but I'm terribly sorry..." he sincerely stated. Tara smiled wanly.

"Thank you, Giles." The smile faded into an apprehensive look. " It's Willow I'm worried about, though. She can't take care of herself right now. What if Buffy and Xander can't find her?"

"What if they can?" Dawn said softly. "Tara...I don't want you to...to..."

"T-to go?" the witch asked with a gentle smile. She hugged the young girl. "I don't want to, Dawn, but it's just...the way things are. The way they have to be." She released the hug, holding Dawn at arm's length, her eyes earnest and pleading. "I need you to do something for me, Dawn. Something really important."

"Okay," the girl swallowed.

"I need you to promise me that you won't let Willow blame herself. She did everything she could, and none of this was her fault. I think...I think she might have a chance to be happy with..."

"Xander," Dawn whispered, not wanting Anya to overhear. Giles shuffled uncomfortably, feeling like it was improper for him to be listening to this and yet unable to look away as Tara nodded sadly.

"If she'll let herself be. If she forgets...you remind her, okay. Remind her I love her, and that this was my choice. Make sure she knows I don't want her to suffer over this. I don't care how many times you have to say it."

"Okay," Dawn said again. "I promise."

"Good," Tara smiled, then jumped at a loud thudding sound. They all turned as one to see the shadows of small creatures propelling themselves against the windows and door of the shop. "Guess we should do this, if we're gonna do this, right?"

"Yes...I'm afraid that our rodent friends are getting a tad impatient," Giles acknowledged a bit anxiously. He did an almost subconscious count of heads and frowned. "Where is Anya?"

Everyone scanned the room, their eyes eventually settling on a decidedly twitchy Amy. The recently deratted witch looked down at her borrowed shoes.

"She left," she whispered.

"She what?" Giles said in disbelief. Amy made a vague hand-gesture.

"Left...pffft...gone."

"Through the tunnels?" Tara asked worriedly. Amy shook her head.

"Not exactly...I kind of...you know..." she said, waving her hand in a sigil that both Tara and Giles recognized. Hearing Giles' groan the witch's head finally snapped up as she finished, "She loves him!"

"Yes. She loves him. Unfortunately, he is a former rabbit that is currently driving his own kind to kill everyone in Sunnydale. Not exactly one of the great romance stories." Giles fretted for a moment, then a loud thump on the door, accompanied by an ominous cracking sound, made up his mind. "There's no more time, we have to do this now. Dawn, are you certain you're up to this?"

"I'm more than up to this. I've been waiting for this my whole life."

"Then let's begin," Giles said, nodding as Amy and Tara began collecting the necessary ingredients with Dawn's help. He looked at the three girls and sighed. Amy had just become human again, Dawn wasn't a true witch, and Tara... God help us. All of us, he added in a silent prayer.

"Willow!" Xander screamed again, fighting his way through the crowd.

"Xander, stop!" Buffy cried, but he lurched forward.

"Willow!" he shouted again, ignoring the Slayer as he fought his way through the panicked crowd. Buffy struggled to follow him, but caught the unmistakable buzz of a large gathering of demons and vampires and whirled around with a groan.

"I so don't have time for you guys right now," she said, pulling two vampires off of victims and colliding their heads together.

"Slayer!" a pink and bulbous demon with glowing orange eyes shouted in alarm. Buffy nodded, putting on her fiercest look.

"Yes, that's right! Slayer here! You should really just go..." Buffy said hopefully. The one that shouted charged her first.

"She's mine!" Globular demon shouted.

"Crap!" Buffy cried as a bunch of them set upon her. She saw a few of them pulled backwards, and all of a sudden Spike was at her side.

"I'm here, Buffy!" Spike panted, standing in a defensive position. "Here to rescue you." Buffy gave him a sidelong glare, too busy scanning the crowd for her friends to give him a proper one.

"Here to what me?" she drawled as she casually reached out and pulled a demon off of him without even looking in his direction. She tossed it across the room. Spike returned the favor, twisting the neck of a rather nasty blue thing that was about to grab her from behind.

"Fine, to help you. To keep you from bloody well being killed, which you definitely will if we don't get to work here," Spike's voice was full of urgency, but the Slayer shook her head stubbornly.

"I've got to find Xander," she insisted. Flashes of her nightmares were in her mind, every nerve ending, every instinct screaming that if she couldn't get to him soon it would be too late. Visions of Willow's disfigured face swirled into the insanity she's seen in her friend's eyes, and she almost missed Spike's quiet reply.

"You won't do him any good if you're dead, pet."

"If I don't get to them, Xander's gonna die. Willow...she's not herself, and she'll -"

"You've got to concentrate Buffy. You can't do anything to help them now."

Buffy turned on him in desperate anger.

"No! I don't accept that!" she insisted. Spike shook his head at her, twisting the neck of another demon.

"It's not a matter of accepting it, luv. Look around! We'll be lucky if we get out of this ourselves. Not to mention there's the small matter of the furry rodents."

"Right. How am I supposed to fight them?" Buffy moaned. "I mean, what's next? Squirrels? Hamsters? I'm Buffy the Exterminator now?"

Spike shrugged, kicking off two of the rodents that had latched on to his ankle.

"Don't know, luv. Thought Monty Python made the vicious little buggers up."

"I think I might know someone who knows, and I might just strangle it out of her," Buffy bit off.

"Her?"

"Anya is involved in this somehow," Buffy insisted, then her brow knitted. "Though if my vision was right, she's in as much trouble as the rest of us."

For a heart-stopping moment after she'd materialized, they just stared at each other. Cas' expression was alternating between disbelief and fear, and Anya instinctively knew that it was fear not of, but for her. It gave her hope. She looked around, trying to project disaffected curiosity.

"So this is what it's like," Anya said finally. "I thought it would be...I dunno...neater. More festive maybe. More silver for sure...though maybe she's just trying to stand out. Is that it?"

"You shouldn't be here," he said brusquely, acknowledging her presence if not her words.

"Why not?" Anya asked innocently. "Does it bother you? Having me so close? Remembering what we had-"

"Your presence defiles the temple," he said stubbornly.

"It looks more like a cave than a temple, but it's nice. You know, I never saw it the last time...I wonder if it looks very different..."

"The last time?" Cas echoed, and Anya nodded, remembering.

"When I defeated your oh-so-wonderful goddess. Of course, it wasn't really my doing..."

A MILLENNIUM AGO...

"All is lost," Ola sniffed. "We will die."

"Not if you do like I've been telling you and make a damn wish!"

"What good would it do? I've lost my husband...he has chosen his goddess over me. What more is there for me now?"

"If you want your stupid husband back, wish for that!" Anyanka said crankily as something that sounded like a drum began beating irregularly. In shock she realized it was the rabbits jumping en masse against the door, trying to knock it open.

"But he has chosen her!" Ola wailed. "He doesn't want me anymore."

"Then wish that he wanted you!" Anyanka said through gritted teeth. A swirling flash of silvery light in a corner of the room caught both of their attention. A figure of a beautiful woman, alternately ephemeral and solid, appeared.

"Ostara!" Ola cried. Anyanka crossed her arms, nodding irritably at the goddess.

"You're here. Great. You can stop this foolishness right now, missy! Im a vengeance demon, and this...attack...is unacceptable. Make it stop." The last was said with a childlike quiver. Ostara regarded her with scorn

"You stupid girl. You're not a Lower Being, no permanent harm will come to you from these creatures." A rabbit chose that moment to leap onto Anyanka's arm and bite down, causing her to squeal in pain. Ostara smiled. "I never said it wouldn't hurt."

"Oh God," Anyanka cried, giving in to her panic at last. "Get them off of me!"

"Little late to call on the gods, demoness," Ostara chided her. Both women screamed as the rabbits pierced their flesh.

"You bitch," Ola said in a low pained voice. "You horrible, cruel...you don't deserve to be worshipped. You don't care about anyone but yourself..."

"Of course not," Ostara said in mild surprise. "I am a goddess, you are a puny little mortal...I mean, really, do the math."

"I wish you were forgotten, and no longer worshipped, and gone from this earth for a thousand years," Ola finished hotly.

"Done!" Anyanka screamed, just as Ostara screamed, "No!" A moment later she was gone, as if she had never been. Anyanka gave a cry of triumph that turned into a shriek. She glared at Ola.

"You couldn't have wished that the rabbits were gone, too?" she asked as more of the furry rodents jumped onto her shoulder. Tev burst through the doors, his eyes wide with fear and guilt. Anyanka shook her head. "I don't care what he does to you, lady, don't ever even think about it," she ordered before transporting herself away.

"...so you see, I never saw the shrine at all." Anya finished conversationally. Cas was staring at her blankly.

"What you did was unforgivable. Ostara will be avenged."

Anya threw her hands up angrily.

"She's already been avenged. Trust me, if hurting me was the goal, she's scored a home run, or whatever...sports metaphors are confusing and stupid. Why didn't you tell me you were a rabbit?"

Cas visibly twitched, and the blush that crept over his face was the first real reaction Anya had gotten.

"I...it was...kind of embarrassing. And I...I felt like a human. Like a man. With you."

"Really?" Anya asked, a blush creeping over her features. Cas nodded, then his expression hardened.

"It doesn't matter now. Ostara must have her revenge. I am the vessel," Cas said, his tone hollow.

"So that's it? You just use me for sex and toss me aside?"

Cas blinked in shock. Anya resisted the urge to punch her fist in the air. She sensed she had finally broken through the wall that Ostara had placed around his heart.

"No! That wasn't what I-"

"Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? I mean, first Xander says he loves me, but he doesn't, not really, and then you...I really thought that you were...were the one who I could spend the rest of my life with but apparently you were just using me!"

"I...I never..." Cas stammered, before his face went blank again. Anya thought this time she could still see a twinge of feeling in him. "This does not matter. Nothing matters but the goddess which I serve..."

"Uh-huh...you know, this is how I got into this mess in the first place. Woman scorned, thirst for vengeance...except she took it out on your goddess instead of her husband. And I don't have any powers anymore, Cas. I couldn't curse you or Ostara if I tried. The only thing I have is what I know. That you love me. At least, that's what I thought I knew..."

"I do!...I mean...I did...I..." Cas' face reddened as he struggled to reconcile his feelings. He knew he had no choice but to obey his goddess, but his mind was filled with images of Anya, their time together, the way she made him feel...

"Why do you waste time with this mortal child, my servant?" Ostara's voice jangled in irritation, and Cas immediately threw himself down, hiding his face in his trembling hands.

"She entered your temple unbidden, Mistress," he squeaked. "I told her to leave."

"Indeed. And yet she did not. What is the punishment for such defilement?"

"D-death, Mistress," Cas responded, his eyes wide with fear and devotion. Devotion that Anya was rapidly fearing was not to her. She could feel him slipping away from her.

"Go on, then. Kill the unbeliever."

"No," Anya whispered as she saw Cas heading towards her, nothing in his eyes for her anymore. Nothing but the promise of death.

"Willow!" Xander screamed again. He had no idea how she could move so fast through this din. It was like some one of Anya's nightmares had come to life inside the Bronze. Then he saw her, crouched down with her arms tucked over her head, emitting a high keening wail that made him shiver in its otherworldliness. "Stay put, Will. I'm coming."

But he wasn't. He was pretty much running in place, he realized, because a vampire had grabbed onto his collar. Xander gave a terrified shout and ducked, getting his shoulder beneath the attacker in a move Buffy had taught him but he'd never actually used in a real battle. Before he knew it he had flipped the surprised vamp over his shoulder, sending him down into a pile of rabbits that immediately covered him. Xander scanned the group for Willow again, and found her, seeing she was still in the same position. This time he noticed that there were no rabbits anywhere near her, and that the demons and vamps were also steering clear.

"Will," he called again, and her head snapped up. Xander froze in his tracks.

She was smiling. And her eyes were black. He subconsciously stepped back.

"Oh, Xander," she sighed with a giggle. "You came. Isn't this neat?"

"So not the word I would've picked," Xander said, mostly to himself. Willow looked around and laughed again.

"It's all so...fluffy. Like clouds, and marshmallows, and buzzsaws..." She raised her hand and he felt his body flying through the air towards her, landing on top of her with a rush. Instinctively he rolled off of her and she rolled with him, landing on top.

"Will..." he tried again, but she put her finger over his mouth.

"Shhhh!" she said reprovingly. "Words, words, words, all around, biting me, keeping me from dancing...I want to dance."

"Willow?"

"Will you dance with me Xander?"

"I'd like that," Xander said, "Really, but now isn't the-"

"Time," she sighed. "Not the time. Time. Time." She rolled off of him, clutching at her head, and looking nearly herself for a moment, though very upset. "It's in here, Xander. All of it. But it wants out...it's eating me. Eating. Eating its way out. Make it stop!" Without thinking he pulled her into his arms.

"That's why I'm here, Will. I've got the way, but you've got to..." Xander trailed off when she started to struggle in his arms, no longer seeming to recognize him at all.

"No...you want to take her away from me..." Willow's hands fluttered like birds, and Xander winced as he saw the energy channeling off of them. He tried to back away but felt himself somehow held fast.

"Will, don't," he moaned as her hands reached for him. Again he thought he was getting through to her, but then he saw something that made him pale. He knew what she was going to do, and had no idea how to stop it.

A moment later everything was perfectly still.

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